Losing 40,000 men a year to suicide is a national tragedy

We can and must do much better by our boys and men

Today is National Suicide Prevention Day. I know, I know: there are days for everything now.

But this one should be the one that really stops us in our tracks, especially as we think about the men in our lives. Male suicide has reached levels that constitute a real crisis, which is not a word I use lightly. (Regular readers will know that this is an issue I’ve written about before, here and here and here).

Suicide is a gendered health crisis

Boys and men account for 80% of the deaths from suicide in the United States. This amounts to almost 40,000 male deaths a year, about the same as the loss of women’s lives from breast cancer.

But the crisis of male suicide is not getting enough attention. I’m still being told by well-informed people that among teens and young adults, the suicide risk is higher for women than men, a dangerous untruth.

There are lots of risk factors for suicide, including being a veteran or living in a a rural area. Native Americans also have a higher risk than other racial groups. But by far the biggest gap of all is the one between women and men:

The first bar on the above chart shows the gap by age, between those aged above and below 75. Death rates among much older men remain distressingly high. As Olivia Goldhill reported recently for STAT News:

Some 38.2 deaths per 100,000 among men age 75 to 84 are by suicide, which increases to 55.7 among those over 85, according to data from CDC — more than 16 times the suicide rate for women in the same age group.

Here’s the chart accompanying Goldhill’s piece:

These are indeed very striking gender gaps. But in the age bands below that, the real change in recent years has been a dramatic rise in loss of life from suicide among young men. Suicide rates among young men have risen by a shocking 30% since 2010:

Forthcoming research from AIBM shows that among men aged 15-34, more than half a million “years of potential life” are now being lost every year. A new AIBM research brief from Ravan Hawrami and Alanna Williams shows that there are also big differences by class and occupation, with construction workers most likely to die by suicide.

In fact, we lose about five times as many construction workers to suicide as to workplace deaths on construction sites.

Stop blaming men

There is a tendency to individualize the problem of male suicide, rather than focus on structural factors. Men might be told to either “man up” and muscle their way through mental health challenges; or they might be told to drop the masculine “mask” and open up more emotionally. Either way, the framing is too often, “what’s wrong with men?” rather than “what’s wrong in our society and health system?”

But the challenges of boys and men are structural, not simply individual, a point I made as strongly as I could in a new video that I made with the superb team at Big Think:

Working-class men (those without college degrees) have born the brunt of recent economic and social changes, especially stagnant or sluggish wage growth and a decline in family stability (only one in two working class men aged 30 to 50 are now living with children).

I’ve argued that one cause of male suicide is coming to feel that you are unneeded, surplus to requirements, not adding value to the community. Australian researcher Fiona Shand and her colleagues looked at the words or phrases that men who have attempted suicide most often used to describe themselves. At the top of the list were “useless” and “worthless”. At a cultural level, our task is to do a better job of ensuring that men know they are valued in our families, communities and broader society.

There are also many ways to make our mental health care services more male friendly. Look at Michael Wilson’s proposals to better support men after relationship breakdown, when male suicide risks skyrocket. Or take the well-evaluated “Men in Mind” program that trains providers to better serve men, including those with suicidal ideation, led by AIBM Advisor and Movember chief researcher Zac Seidler. Which U.S. state will be first to pilot and commit to this program?

My message to young men

To any man out there, but especially any young man who is struggling, I want you to know that you are not alone, either in your struggles or in this world.

Even if you have screwed up (and we all screw up), be kind to yourself.

If you are struggling to find your feet, and your place, know that again you’re not alone and that your problems are not simply of your own making

You are precious to us. We see you. We're with you. We've got your back.

And: we need you. The world needs you. We need your talents, your energy, your work, your love, your service.

Resources and Help

If you are in a dark place, don’t wait to get help. Call 988 right now. There are people out there whose mission in life is literally to lift you up, so that you in turn can lift up others.

Over at AIBM we have plenty of resources about men’s mental health. But also check out the following organizations:

• Active Minds

• The Trevor Project

• Movember (and join in their hairy campaign!)

• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

• National Council for Suicide Prevention

• National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention

• Suicide Prevention Resource Center

• NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)

Please do share this post. Even more importantly, share with a boy or man in your life how much you love, admire, need and/or respect them. And let’s work together to stem the loss of life to suicide among our boys and men.