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Stephen Bradford Long's avatar

I’m one of those childless gay men, and while I and my partner have deliberately chosen to not pursue fatherhood, I do see how childlessness can contribute to the general loneliness and and purposeless many men feel. I sometimes feel like men have a harder time “self starting” connection and meaning, and having children can be one of those external factors that bring immense value to life.

John's avatar

My suspicion is many of these childless men have other issues like alcoholism, drug addiction, chronic pain, underemployment/unemployment, criminal convictions/jail time, psychological difficulties, or undiagnosed autism, that make forming relationships especially difficult for them. Women have lower incidences of these problems- 90% of the prison population are men, schizophrenia has a earlier age of onset in men compared to women, and autism has a 4:1 gender skew in favor of men, whether low or high functioning. About 12% of men over the age of 12 struggle with drug addiction, compared to only 6% of women. I'd be curious to see or find a study asking these men how many close friends they have, because my suspicion again is that these men are very isolated. I dont blame these guys, and I'm sympathetic to their struggles, but I think we're missing a piece of the puzzle as to why they're alone. Whether women are right to not even give these men the time of day or whether they're being unfairly judgemental because these men don't fit their "type" or who they expected they'd date or marry, is an unanswered question in modern dating and relationships. I imagine the guy who has numerous violent felonies isn't a great guy, but some of those guys who are dedicated to improving their life or maintaining sobriety may be fine, albeit a bit different than your typical guy.

https://www.addictioncenter.com/addiction/differences-men-women/

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