Fierce criticism seems to be the number one top sport of our society these days. I guess fed by the influence of social media. It’s no longer left to people who actually know something about the subject at hand and it’s driven by archaic emotionality. That’s what I believe anyhow! As I criticize criticism itself!
But at least I do have some training/education in why people behave the way they do!
I read your book when it first dropped. Great stuff! I am happy to find this spot where this topic is being highlighted. I just returned from my quarterly trip with JP4Men.org. We’ve been at it for years. I find our biggest challenge is scaling up this program. We currently sit at 36 men per event but will soon be doubling it to two groups of 36. I feel our next challenge will be expanding the program to other US areas. Thanks again for spotlighting this needed work.
It was Dicken's orphaned character Pip in Great Expectations that taught us about the trappings of cowardice. “In a word, I was too cowardly to do what I knew to be right, as I had been too cowardly to avoid doing what I knew to be wrong.”
When we look across the world, nations with large numbers of disenfranchised young men, often described as military-aged males face the most violent unrest and often outright terrorism. We will quickly become one of those
nations if we don’t get to work on meaningful and honest changes at the policy AND implementation levels. Good ideas that are poorly executed are not what we need right now.
Thank you, Mr. Reeves, for the attention that you are bringing to these issues. As an educator, I am listening and doing what I can to support both our girls and boys.
We do, but we often don’t appreciate the differences in what they need from us. We often expect them to behave “nicely” like the girls. Boys just think and act differently and we sometimes don’t understand that well enough.
I am receptive to your broad concern about the current state of men and boys. However, I think there's a difference between the historic barriers that women have faced, and the failures of men to serve their own best interests at the moment. Women were not long ago blocked from education, restricted in professional opportunities, etc. No one is blocking young men from college today -- they aren't going. So while I worry about that and agree it needs attention, it isn't directly comparable to the history of prejudice against women and their recently broadening opportunities.
One thing that surprises people is how many women were going to college even as far back as the late 1800's. They weren't blocked from education, but from certain majors. I wrote up a post on that when I reviewed "Of Boys and Men" (https://taboo.substack.com/p/reeves) and it has some visualizations of the graduation rate back to birth years in the early 1900's. I plan on doing one going back to birth year of 1870.
I think that you're right that a big part of it is ambition, but I don't think that it's just a question of legal barriers versus ambition. Part of it is about financial opportunities, since there are more scholarships available for women than men. There are roughly 13x the number of sex-specific scholarship available for women. If the opposite was true, and men had 13x the sex-specific scholarships available, we wouldn't hesitate to call it prejudice.
Had one other thought as one who studies character virtue, boundaries and masculine and feminine instincts.
(I get the feedback not to be too wordy, btw)
Love the image of a vacuum where “demons pour in”.
It’s so artistic and you see it in the mind’s eye. The symbolism of Tates and such flowing in to satisfy a desperate male market need for feeling heard and valued.
However a second process occurs technically. Those consumers of info who are male have decisions they make in looking to feel better.
Instincts of survival, masculinity and femininity may be used for good or bad if not steered and directed toward sublimation and generativity. This is why so many decry the absence of “good fathers” and male role models.
The spiritually and psychologically hungry need to express their masculine instincts and are culturally disallowed. But if they lack character virtue and instruction and boundary instruction they may express the instincts in destructive ways or take up mentorship by destructive mentors.
This means “the devil inside “ is loosed not by the presence of masculinity but the absence of boundaries and character instruction.
The demons not only “pour in” but are already there.
In Jungian terms the shadow needs integrated instead of suppressed or shamed. Where passion is turned away from and expression of life but instead diminished, shamed, which is a dark force toward death, not life.
Such a great and thought provoking article thank you.
Thank you. I think of the word “Passion” as the key to understanding these issues. The word can refer to “fully living” and “full of life” but its absence means “empty of life” “near death”. From a poetic stance its absence is the universal cause of suicide which completed are almost 80% male today.
Absence of passion is absence (for males) of masculine energy, masculinity and sources of it and expression of it.
As a society, we're never going to help people who we see as toxic and privileged. Saying “You should help men or they’ll hurt you” is not going to change that narrative.
I very much appreciate the work you are doing. I have sat in many men's circles, and have seen this wounding of men. Also, the power of fellowship. Some friends and I have been writing about tonic masculinity, to counter the pervasive "toxic masculinity". This is my third installment on masculine archetypes.
Are you familiar with the 'shed' programs? Interesting concept of men having male only spaces. It appears to be very successful. It's all about fellowship and affirming masculinity using a male oriented perspective.
I am not familiar. I looked into it but I'm not sure what you are referring to. Though, yes, it is healthy for men to come together to discuss life, just as it is healthy for women to come together to discuss life.
Extremely important point about how power-hungry and destructive movements/people fill the vacuum left by “Gamma Bias” (Dr.Paul) and when public institutions abandon men and boys. I show this in my study showing how destructive cultural trends (eg society undermines positive fathering) and the psychological damage to men that they cause are behind events like attack on US capitol. Historical scholarship on the Father function - in individual families and institutions- show that when it is undermined, fascism/totalitarianism flourish! The result is total destruction of family and literal sacrifice/murder of millions of young men.
Great statistical presentation to match the advocacy thank you. Dr John Barry et al at UCL Univ college London discovered two things very pertinent: “Gamma Bias” and “male gender blindness”. Male gender blindness is of course not seeing stats at all - using one experience of one person to represent an entire group, or a group finding to negate the experience of one u related individual or even an unrelated group not part of the study - or not mentioning that on a bell curve a large number of men are for example victims of domestic violence, or are approaching 80% of completed suicides. Gamma Bias is very interesting in that in research and elsewhere there can be suppression of effects on women when it fits the blog headline, Or amplification of it when it fits (alpha and beta bias), but Gamma Bias is suppressing looking at the numbers for one gender while amplifying seeing the numbers of another gender in a study or story. Gamma Bias is seen rife in sociology research and many blog stories, media coverage especially, and formal and casual conversation between university graduates.
Thank you, Richard. Your work and writing is invaluable to all of us, and to me and my male counseling patients who exhibit struggles related to many of the topics you address.
I don’t think these observations happens in a vacuum.
Recently I heard a podcaster stating that a difference between women and men is that in many cases women act covertly whereas men act overtly.
I think this is also the case on the subject of power and agression. Women - with superior social skills - wield power indirectly by working on the cultural narratives. Agression is done indirectly by innuendo, libel and gossip not to mention amplification and exaggeration of the misdeeds of their foes as well as minimizing their foes’ good deeds.
Women wield way more power over the world than we give them credit for. And way more than what they will take responsibility for.
A small fraction of women see men as their foes and have successfully mobilized the majority into beliving that narrative.
It is not risk-free to go against the powers that be. Neither against overt male power or covert female power. Either case there may be repercussions.
Are you kidding me? Try working on Wall Street or in tech and tell me that women wield way more power over the world than "we give them credit for. And way more than what they will take responsibility for."
I don't see men as foes (and I have worked with and for plenty of good men), but I certainly didn't appreciate being paid less for the same or more work than men were paid. BTW, women are either told they are not feminine enough or too aggressive. Men have never had to deal with that kind of expectation. If I act covertly, I am a sneaky and a manipulative b****. If it was a guy, he was acting strategically. Please.
Ever hear of the term "fail up"? It's very prevalent in both industries with men doing pattern matching with other men. You should research that. Why did the education paradigm shift? Perhaps it is because girls decided to work harder and raised the bar for achievement.
Women have had to figure things out for centuries and we're still doing it with draconian laws on abortion and such because men want to have more power over us. But, yes, please tell me about how women wield power when the gerrymandering that has taken place has essentially left women (particularly minority women) having votes that do not count.
When the gender pay gap is fixed and women have the same leadership opportunities as men (meaning they don't need to go to strip clubs and/or golf clubs to network with the big shots), then let's talk.
I think if anything this proves the point the author is making. At no point does he suggest that misogyny or societal/cultural biases against women don’t exist. But even the suggestion that there might be specific areas where boys are falling behind girls in education is met with a diatribe that doesn’t actually address the problems he points out.
You seem to believe that power is only present where we've traditionally recognised it. Women wield immense power,but on the small scale, the interpersonal level.
I'm going based on my bank account. But sure, blame the women for learning to continuously adapt to cater men. Tell me more about how women will suggest something and it'll get mansplained back to them in a meeting, where the guy will get "credit" for the idea. Tell me more about how women need to couch an idea a certain way in order for it to be considered by a man - again, has to be his idea.
If by interpersonal level, you mean sex and relationships, why golly gee - having women who make choices based on who they want to be with - what a novel concept!
Your bank account? Maybe you should get a job that pays better. The highest paying ones are desperste to get more women!
"by interpersonal level, you mean sex and relationships, why golly gee - having women who make choices based on who they want to be with - what a novel concept! "
Thats part of it for sure. I'm glad you agree--so much so that you consider it a mundane point! There are a lot more examples ouside romance--romance--sentencing gaps for instance, a presumption of innocence, others' willingness to help, etc.
Congratulations, Augustin! You are proving my point about the absurdity of all of this. I find it fascinating that you would assume that I do not work in a high paying occupation. As a matter of fact, I do, and have received multiple awards as a result of my work. But when promotion/raise time comes, I do not get the same as the guy next to me even though I have done the same or, in most cases, more work than that person. Literally have been told that my peer was getting a promo because he has a family to support and I did not (at that point in time).
Here - I'll make it easy for you with a quick Google search:
The gender gap in pay has remained relatively stable in the United States over the past 20 years or so. In 2022, women earned an average of 82% of what men earned, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of median hourly earnings of both full- and part-time workers. These results are similar to where the pay gap stood in 2002, when women earned 80% as much as men.
And as far as romance prospects go, I know it is now considered sacrilege that women don't have to marry anyone that asks. They can actually have some agency over their lives! AMAZING! Oh wait, that whole bodily autonomy thing.
And FWIW, it was all men who were bamboozled by Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos. She should be going to jail and for a long time. She deceived people on their personal health status! But it wasn't women who fell for her. I'm all for clear analysis of deciding which founders to invest in. See other point I made in a different part of this thread around venture capital funding.
"I find it fascinating that you would assume that I do not work in a high paying occupation. "
You complained about your bank account. I pointed out thqt you should get a job that pays better. That is how one solves such problems.
"But when promotion/raise time comes, I do not get the same as the guy next to me even though I have done the same or, in most cases, more work than that person. Literally have been told that my peer was getting a promo because he has a family to support and I did not (at that point in time)."
Assuming that the word of a stranger on the Internet is true (very doubtful given your behavior, it sounds like you should talk to a lawyer or get a new job. That's how one handles these things.
"women earned an average of 82% of what men "
Yeah, all men and all women across all occupations. This is a BS statistic that has been thoroughly debunked at this point. I cannotbelieve you're ignorant of this.
"And as far as romance prospects go, I know it is now considered sacrilege that women don't have to marry anyone that asks. They can actually have some agency over their lives! AMAZING! Oh wait, that whole bodily autonomy thing.
Amazing. You seem fundamentally unable to discuss the facts at hand, that you clearly agree with. So you have to make up nonsense and rail sarcastically at the strawman you constructed.
"And FWIW, it was all men who were bamboozled by Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos. "
Excellent example of someone who abused their presumed innocence. Glad we agree!
Honest question; if there is a pay gap, why don’t women sue their employers on the basis of discrimination? It is illegal to discriminate on the basis of sex.
Thats because the gender pay gap measures the difference in pay between all the men and all the women in an organisation. So if the CEO is a man and all the rest of the employees are women, the organisation will have a significant gender pay gap. This is not illegal.
LOL. That's funny. You need to have the resources to hire an attorney and have more than bulletproof evidence. And that is if you are allowed to do sue them vs. being forced to go to arbitration. The power structure intimidates most women for not suing. Plus the boys always protect the boys because after all, they are the ones who gave their faves the raises, so they are going to do everything possible to slander the woman and prop up the guy.
Just so I’m clear on what you’re saying, the pay gap is so obvious that a national law will fix it, but not so obvious that an arbitrator, a judge or a jury won’t side with the woman that complained and filed suit?
Never said a national law would fix it. Boards should be more diverse and have more equitable approaches to performance evaluation and compensation to go with promotion opportunities. Right now, it's men helping men - particularly straight white or Asian men.
Fierce criticism seems to be the number one top sport of our society these days. I guess fed by the influence of social media. It’s no longer left to people who actually know something about the subject at hand and it’s driven by archaic emotionality. That’s what I believe anyhow! As I criticize criticism itself!
But at least I do have some training/education in why people behave the way they do!
I read your book when it first dropped. Great stuff! I am happy to find this spot where this topic is being highlighted. I just returned from my quarterly trip with JP4Men.org. We’ve been at it for years. I find our biggest challenge is scaling up this program. We currently sit at 36 men per event but will soon be doubling it to two groups of 36. I feel our next challenge will be expanding the program to other US areas. Thanks again for spotlighting this needed work.
It was Dicken's orphaned character Pip in Great Expectations that taught us about the trappings of cowardice. “In a word, I was too cowardly to do what I knew to be right, as I had been too cowardly to avoid doing what I knew to be wrong.”
When we look across the world, nations with large numbers of disenfranchised young men, often described as military-aged males face the most violent unrest and often outright terrorism. We will quickly become one of those
nations if we don’t get to work on meaningful and honest changes at the policy AND implementation levels. Good ideas that are poorly executed are not what we need right now.
Thank you, Mr. Reeves, for the attention that you are bringing to these issues. As an educator, I am listening and doing what I can to support both our girls and boys.
Thank you Stephanie! I’m assuming most women in education care about boys. However, it’s encouraging to see it openly acknowledged.
We do, but we often don’t appreciate the differences in what they need from us. We often expect them to behave “nicely” like the girls. Boys just think and act differently and we sometimes don’t understand that well enough.
I am receptive to your broad concern about the current state of men and boys. However, I think there's a difference between the historic barriers that women have faced, and the failures of men to serve their own best interests at the moment. Women were not long ago blocked from education, restricted in professional opportunities, etc. No one is blocking young men from college today -- they aren't going. So while I worry about that and agree it needs attention, it isn't directly comparable to the history of prejudice against women and their recently broadening opportunities.
One thing that surprises people is how many women were going to college even as far back as the late 1800's. They weren't blocked from education, but from certain majors. I wrote up a post on that when I reviewed "Of Boys and Men" (https://taboo.substack.com/p/reeves) and it has some visualizations of the graduation rate back to birth years in the early 1900's. I plan on doing one going back to birth year of 1870.
I think that you're right that a big part of it is ambition, but I don't think that it's just a question of legal barriers versus ambition. Part of it is about financial opportunities, since there are more scholarships available for women than men. There are roughly 13x the number of sex-specific scholarship available for women. If the opposite was true, and men had 13x the sex-specific scholarships available, we wouldn't hesitate to call it prejudice.
Had one other thought as one who studies character virtue, boundaries and masculine and feminine instincts.
(I get the feedback not to be too wordy, btw)
Love the image of a vacuum where “demons pour in”.
It’s so artistic and you see it in the mind’s eye. The symbolism of Tates and such flowing in to satisfy a desperate male market need for feeling heard and valued.
However a second process occurs technically. Those consumers of info who are male have decisions they make in looking to feel better.
Instincts of survival, masculinity and femininity may be used for good or bad if not steered and directed toward sublimation and generativity. This is why so many decry the absence of “good fathers” and male role models.
The spiritually and psychologically hungry need to express their masculine instincts and are culturally disallowed. But if they lack character virtue and instruction and boundary instruction they may express the instincts in destructive ways or take up mentorship by destructive mentors.
This means “the devil inside “ is loosed not by the presence of masculinity but the absence of boundaries and character instruction.
The demons not only “pour in” but are already there.
In Jungian terms the shadow needs integrated instead of suppressed or shamed. Where passion is turned away from and expression of life but instead diminished, shamed, which is a dark force toward death, not life.
Such a great and thought provoking article thank you.
Thank you. I think of the word “Passion” as the key to understanding these issues. The word can refer to “fully living” and “full of life” but its absence means “empty of life” “near death”. From a poetic stance its absence is the universal cause of suicide which completed are almost 80% male today.
Absence of passion is absence (for males) of masculine energy, masculinity and sources of it and expression of it.
Think on this.
As a society, we're never going to help people who we see as toxic and privileged. Saying “You should help men or they’ll hurt you” is not going to change that narrative.
I very much appreciate the work you are doing. I have sat in many men's circles, and have seen this wounding of men. Also, the power of fellowship. Some friends and I have been writing about tonic masculinity, to counter the pervasive "toxic masculinity". This is my third installment on masculine archetypes.
https://williamhunterduncan.substack.com/p/the-magician-archetype
Are you familiar with the 'shed' programs? Interesting concept of men having male only spaces. It appears to be very successful. It's all about fellowship and affirming masculinity using a male oriented perspective.
I am not familiar. I looked into it but I'm not sure what you are referring to. Though, yes, it is healthy for men to come together to discuss life, just as it is healthy for women to come together to discuss life.
Here is the link to the shed program https://usmenssheds.org/
Extremely important point about how power-hungry and destructive movements/people fill the vacuum left by “Gamma Bias” (Dr.Paul) and when public institutions abandon men and boys. I show this in my study showing how destructive cultural trends (eg society undermines positive fathering) and the psychological damage to men that they cause are behind events like attack on US capitol. Historical scholarship on the Father function - in individual families and institutions- show that when it is undermined, fascism/totalitarianism flourish! The result is total destruction of family and literal sacrifice/murder of millions of young men.
Great statistical presentation to match the advocacy thank you. Dr John Barry et al at UCL Univ college London discovered two things very pertinent: “Gamma Bias” and “male gender blindness”. Male gender blindness is of course not seeing stats at all - using one experience of one person to represent an entire group, or a group finding to negate the experience of one u related individual or even an unrelated group not part of the study - or not mentioning that on a bell curve a large number of men are for example victims of domestic violence, or are approaching 80% of completed suicides. Gamma Bias is very interesting in that in research and elsewhere there can be suppression of effects on women when it fits the blog headline, Or amplification of it when it fits (alpha and beta bias), but Gamma Bias is suppressing looking at the numbers for one gender while amplifying seeing the numbers of another gender in a study or story. Gamma Bias is seen rife in sociology research and many blog stories, media coverage especially, and formal and casual conversation between university graduates.
Truth!
Thank you, Richard. Your work and writing is invaluable to all of us, and to me and my male counseling patients who exhibit struggles related to many of the topics you address.
Truth
I don’t think these observations happens in a vacuum.
Recently I heard a podcaster stating that a difference between women and men is that in many cases women act covertly whereas men act overtly.
I think this is also the case on the subject of power and agression. Women - with superior social skills - wield power indirectly by working on the cultural narratives. Agression is done indirectly by innuendo, libel and gossip not to mention amplification and exaggeration of the misdeeds of their foes as well as minimizing their foes’ good deeds.
Women wield way more power over the world than we give them credit for. And way more than what they will take responsibility for.
A small fraction of women see men as their foes and have successfully mobilized the majority into beliving that narrative.
It is not risk-free to go against the powers that be. Neither against overt male power or covert female power. Either case there may be repercussions.
Are you kidding me? Try working on Wall Street or in tech and tell me that women wield way more power over the world than "we give them credit for. And way more than what they will take responsibility for."
I don't see men as foes (and I have worked with and for plenty of good men), but I certainly didn't appreciate being paid less for the same or more work than men were paid. BTW, women are either told they are not feminine enough or too aggressive. Men have never had to deal with that kind of expectation. If I act covertly, I am a sneaky and a manipulative b****. If it was a guy, he was acting strategically. Please.
Ever hear of the term "fail up"? It's very prevalent in both industries with men doing pattern matching with other men. You should research that. Why did the education paradigm shift? Perhaps it is because girls decided to work harder and raised the bar for achievement.
Women have had to figure things out for centuries and we're still doing it with draconian laws on abortion and such because men want to have more power over us. But, yes, please tell me about how women wield power when the gerrymandering that has taken place has essentially left women (particularly minority women) having votes that do not count.
When the gender pay gap is fixed and women have the same leadership opportunities as men (meaning they don't need to go to strip clubs and/or golf clubs to network with the big shots), then let's talk.
I think if anything this proves the point the author is making. At no point does he suggest that misogyny or societal/cultural biases against women don’t exist. But even the suggestion that there might be specific areas where boys are falling behind girls in education is met with a diatribe that doesn’t actually address the problems he points out.
You seem to believe that power is only present where we've traditionally recognised it. Women wield immense power,but on the small scale, the interpersonal level.
I'm going based on my bank account. But sure, blame the women for learning to continuously adapt to cater men. Tell me more about how women will suggest something and it'll get mansplained back to them in a meeting, where the guy will get "credit" for the idea. Tell me more about how women need to couch an idea a certain way in order for it to be considered by a man - again, has to be his idea.
If by interpersonal level, you mean sex and relationships, why golly gee - having women who make choices based on who they want to be with - what a novel concept!
Your bank account? Maybe you should get a job that pays better. The highest paying ones are desperste to get more women!
"by interpersonal level, you mean sex and relationships, why golly gee - having women who make choices based on who they want to be with - what a novel concept! "
Thats part of it for sure. I'm glad you agree--so much so that you consider it a mundane point! There are a lot more examples ouside romance--romance--sentencing gaps for instance, a presumption of innocence, others' willingness to help, etc.
Jill B.
Writes Jill’s Substack
just now
Congratulations, Augustin! You are proving my point about the absurdity of all of this. I find it fascinating that you would assume that I do not work in a high paying occupation. As a matter of fact, I do, and have received multiple awards as a result of my work. But when promotion/raise time comes, I do not get the same as the guy next to me even though I have done the same or, in most cases, more work than that person. Literally have been told that my peer was getting a promo because he has a family to support and I did not (at that point in time).
Here - I'll make it easy for you with a quick Google search:
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2023/03/01/gender-pay-gap-facts/#:~:text=The%20gender%20gap%20in%20pay,%2D%20and%20part%2Dtime%20workers.
The gender gap in pay has remained relatively stable in the United States over the past 20 years or so. In 2022, women earned an average of 82% of what men earned, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of median hourly earnings of both full- and part-time workers. These results are similar to where the pay gap stood in 2002, when women earned 80% as much as men.
And as far as romance prospects go, I know it is now considered sacrilege that women don't have to marry anyone that asks. They can actually have some agency over their lives! AMAZING! Oh wait, that whole bodily autonomy thing.
And FWIW, it was all men who were bamboozled by Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos. She should be going to jail and for a long time. She deceived people on their personal health status! But it wasn't women who fell for her. I'm all for clear analysis of deciding which founders to invest in. See other point I made in a different part of this thread around venture capital funding.
"I find it fascinating that you would assume that I do not work in a high paying occupation. "
You complained about your bank account. I pointed out thqt you should get a job that pays better. That is how one solves such problems.
"But when promotion/raise time comes, I do not get the same as the guy next to me even though I have done the same or, in most cases, more work than that person. Literally have been told that my peer was getting a promo because he has a family to support and I did not (at that point in time)."
Assuming that the word of a stranger on the Internet is true (very doubtful given your behavior, it sounds like you should talk to a lawyer or get a new job. That's how one handles these things.
"women earned an average of 82% of what men "
Yeah, all men and all women across all occupations. This is a BS statistic that has been thoroughly debunked at this point. I cannotbelieve you're ignorant of this.
"And as far as romance prospects go, I know it is now considered sacrilege that women don't have to marry anyone that asks. They can actually have some agency over their lives! AMAZING! Oh wait, that whole bodily autonomy thing.
Amazing. You seem fundamentally unable to discuss the facts at hand, that you clearly agree with. So you have to make up nonsense and rail sarcastically at the strawman you constructed.
"And FWIW, it was all men who were bamboozled by Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos. "
Excellent example of someone who abused their presumed innocence. Glad we agree!
Honest question; if there is a pay gap, why don’t women sue their employers on the basis of discrimination? It is illegal to discriminate on the basis of sex.
Thats because the gender pay gap measures the difference in pay between all the men and all the women in an organisation. So if the CEO is a man and all the rest of the employees are women, the organisation will have a significant gender pay gap. This is not illegal.
LOL. That's funny. You need to have the resources to hire an attorney and have more than bulletproof evidence. And that is if you are allowed to do sue them vs. being forced to go to arbitration. The power structure intimidates most women for not suing. Plus the boys always protect the boys because after all, they are the ones who gave their faves the raises, so they are going to do everything possible to slander the woman and prop up the guy.
Just so I’m clear on what you’re saying, the pay gap is so obvious that a national law will fix it, but not so obvious that an arbitrator, a judge or a jury won’t side with the woman that complained and filed suit?
Never said a national law would fix it. Boards should be more diverse and have more equitable approaches to performance evaluation and compensation to go with promotion opportunities. Right now, it's men helping men - particularly straight white or Asian men.
Seems that it always comes back to equity and diversity, and this time with a touch of bias against straight white and Asian men.
I can’t speak on your situation but blanket solutions to individual issues cause further issues.
I hope you find an employer that values you and your abilities with compensation to match.
Bravo!