I apologize for coming late to this party but I just watched the full podcast last night for the first time. Underneath all the political perceptions and actions taken by Obama that people may agree with or not, I heard two men talking about the importance of a wide range of male role models in their lives. To me, that was a much more important and deeper insight that doesn't often get discussed in the world of manhood and masculinity.
I've had deep dive interviews with hundreds of men who come from a wide variety of backgrounds and who have had distinctly different upbringings when it comes to social, political and masculinity influences. I've learned that the men who continue to reach out for a broader range of masculine influences -- even into adulthood -- tend to be the guys who are better equipped to handle the confusion a lot of men feel between the forces of modern and traditional masculinity. In fact, most men will say they no longer feel the need to seek out this type of guidance because they are...well...men. A lot of that comes from seeing manhood as a destination instead of a practice...guys who feel that once they're a man there is less of a need to grow or better themselves.
The guys who seek the guidance or mentorship of men with more experience into adulthood -- whether those are teachers, coaches, relatives, friends or business connections -- tend to feel more confident about themselves in a wider range of situations. They also tend to have a desire to expand themselves a bit more.
As men, though, we are silently trained/expected to always be able to work things out on our own and can feel a sense of weakness if we feel a need to reach out for help. That's the issue -- from my perspective -- that we need to address.
Do you expect anyone to take you seriously? Barack Obama is one of the last people who has anything helpful to say about being a father figure, especially to boys. He has no sons of his own, and he had extremely few interactions with his own dad. Obama Sr. was too busy fathering other kids in Africa than he was to be in the picture for Barack Jr.
In this interview Obama says that even if you have a good father, you should still surround yourself with older gay men. How stupid do you have to be to listen to someone who says something like that?
Lastly, Obama's kids are a disaster. This is not their fault, but the fault of their parents. The Obamas are in no position to be giving parenting advice to anyone, much less advice about raising sons.
Reeves, would it be possible to moderate the comments section a bit more please? It doesn't feel like a good place to discuss the article when I know I'll get an inbox full of spam-tier messages.
Your point about the stark partisan divide on all-male social groups (67% of Democratic women support all-female groups vs. 34% supporting all-male groups) highlights exactly why Obama's voice matters here. When he says male solidarity spaces are "vital," it gives permission for others on the center-left to make the same claim.
If it is a patriarchy then you take out the masculine and the males. Child by child. Simple formula. Reshape what is left not something else. We are moving toward the ‘something else’ but weakly worried about the past…the boys. But soon we will grow past that.
Regarding how education isn’t designed for boys the two biggest things I remember from when my 17-year-old was younger is the lack of play time (bad for both genders, but especially boys) and rules that prohibited normal boy behavior. For example, giving a friend a shoulder bump when you see him led to communication with parents because “hands to yourself” was such a firm rule. Or the no climbing trees on the playground even after the school day was over.
There are girls who probably bristled under these rules too, but in my experience coaching youth sports, the boys require/enjoy more motion, more adventure, and more physicality than girls.
Just to ask, didn't the graph on sex of teachers show there is a parity of male teachers in high school? That the biggest lack of male teachers in elementary school, then middle school.
No. Here is the data from PEW: "About three-quarters (77%) of teachers are women and 23% are men, according to data from the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) for the 2020-21 school year, which is the most recent one available. This gender imbalance is especially notable in elementary schools, where 89% of teachers are women. Women make up 72% of middle school teachers and 60% of secondary or high school teachers."
I just ask because that would dispute a point made. Maybe we need more male elementary school teachers? And middle school. If I remember, high school was basically fine.
It's about 45% male in HS, you're right. BUT it's falling fastest there. And I've come to think that men in MS and HS is perhaps even more important than ES.
Nothing good will happen until the American Left comes to terms with the fact that a 70% out-of-wedlock birth-rate among African-Americans is just crushing. 61% of African-American kids grow up in single-parents homes (most without a father figure). If you wanted to design a society to prevent social, economic, and academic advancement, you couldn’t do a better job.
But no one on The Left is allowed to say this. All other talk about the value of men is just noise.
Very nice. Thank you. Boy Scouts, Sunday school, dad's who build models with you, play catch and take you to Little League tryouts. It's not asking too much. And a weeknight out with boys for pops once a month. Oh and the dissing of men has got to stop obviously. Call it out when you hear it. #mentoo.
I've been following this subject since becoming aware of your work and the widening gaps between men and women along with a scary level of polarization. I am glad when public figures share their own evolving understanding of the issues.
I understand why having a role as protectors could be important and positive for men. I support this with mixed feelings. I am married to a man who takes this role as well as the role of provider very seriously. Because he is the kind of person who never stops learning, he is able to balance these instincts and doesn't, usually, end up negating my own strengths and instincts in this area. I grew up an oldest child of many. I raised a child and was the one whose job it was to keep him safe. We've both found that it takes some skill and negotiation to manage those moments when his instinct and self worth as protector/provider collides with my own instincts and need to be recognized as competent and strong. I fear losing certain muscles I'll need again if/when I am widowed. I've also observed relationships where protective men and often using that to control their partners even when they are not aware if it. I think we need, as you've pointed out in your work and to a lesser extent in this post, ways to keep talking these things through together, men and women so we can preserve the positive,reduce the negatives, and allow all of us to flourish..
Women perpetrate domestic violence as often as men do. The research findings establishing that fact goes back to the 1970s, starting with the research of Straus, Steinmetz, and Gelles. Feminists made death threats against the three to try to silence them.
I don't think this is likely to be true or untrue. Men are much more aggressive than women, which I imagine leads to some very different behaviors vis a vis domestic violence. If you measure that they're the same, I suspect the measurement wasn't finely pointed enough to pull out all the data
How many books has BO penned? Going by the charity shop copies I've seen recently, he must have spent his entire presidency writing or giving interviews.
I always take advice from someone who never experienced what they pontificate about and profess to be an expert on, especially if he is a privileged black man who went to Harvard based on -what? Did he himself have the father that he describes as always being known as a providers, having a job, and coming home from work each day to his family? I don't think so.
Not to mention, that his black 'community' has not been part of that ethos for many years now, for reasons having little or nothing to do the ones that he mentions - but most often because of Democrat-created dependency on all sorts of working, taxpayer-funded government handouts by young, unwed black mothers and their grandmoms who can get paid by the government to watch any number of babies with out fathers in the home, such that fathers became irrelevant, irresponsible, and nowhere to be found.
I long for the day when most, if not all, of my black brothers and sisters wake up and finally free themselves from continuing to be slaves down on the Democrat plantation.
I apologize for coming late to this party but I just watched the full podcast last night for the first time. Underneath all the political perceptions and actions taken by Obama that people may agree with or not, I heard two men talking about the importance of a wide range of male role models in their lives. To me, that was a much more important and deeper insight that doesn't often get discussed in the world of manhood and masculinity.
I've had deep dive interviews with hundreds of men who come from a wide variety of backgrounds and who have had distinctly different upbringings when it comes to social, political and masculinity influences. I've learned that the men who continue to reach out for a broader range of masculine influences -- even into adulthood -- tend to be the guys who are better equipped to handle the confusion a lot of men feel between the forces of modern and traditional masculinity. In fact, most men will say they no longer feel the need to seek out this type of guidance because they are...well...men. A lot of that comes from seeing manhood as a destination instead of a practice...guys who feel that once they're a man there is less of a need to grow or better themselves.
The guys who seek the guidance or mentorship of men with more experience into adulthood -- whether those are teachers, coaches, relatives, friends or business connections -- tend to feel more confident about themselves in a wider range of situations. They also tend to have a desire to expand themselves a bit more.
As men, though, we are silently trained/expected to always be able to work things out on our own and can feel a sense of weakness if we feel a need to reach out for help. That's the issue -- from my perspective -- that we need to address.
Do you expect anyone to take you seriously? Barack Obama is one of the last people who has anything helpful to say about being a father figure, especially to boys. He has no sons of his own, and he had extremely few interactions with his own dad. Obama Sr. was too busy fathering other kids in Africa than he was to be in the picture for Barack Jr.
In this interview Obama says that even if you have a good father, you should still surround yourself with older gay men. How stupid do you have to be to listen to someone who says something like that?
Lastly, Obama's kids are a disaster. This is not their fault, but the fault of their parents. The Obamas are in no position to be giving parenting advice to anyone, much less advice about raising sons.
Reeves, would it be possible to moderate the comments section a bit more please? It doesn't feel like a good place to discuss the article when I know I'll get an inbox full of spam-tier messages.
Just the stuff that insults other commentors would be great!
This is how this interviene has been tras ferred i to Spain:
“Boys need to be close to LGTB”… no mention to nens issues of course
So Democrats are sending specific tailored messages to each county.
Liars!!
https://www.marca.com/tiramillas/sociedad/2025/07/20/barack-obama-cree-ninos-deberian-crecer-figura-colectivo-lgtbi-cerca-necesitamos.html?cid=SIN13703
Your point about the stark partisan divide on all-male social groups (67% of Democratic women support all-female groups vs. 34% supporting all-male groups) highlights exactly why Obama's voice matters here. When he says male solidarity spaces are "vital," it gives permission for others on the center-left to make the same claim.
If it is a patriarchy then you take out the masculine and the males. Child by child. Simple formula. Reshape what is left not something else. We are moving toward the ‘something else’ but weakly worried about the past…the boys. But soon we will grow past that.
Regarding how education isn’t designed for boys the two biggest things I remember from when my 17-year-old was younger is the lack of play time (bad for both genders, but especially boys) and rules that prohibited normal boy behavior. For example, giving a friend a shoulder bump when you see him led to communication with parents because “hands to yourself” was such a firm rule. Or the no climbing trees on the playground even after the school day was over.
There are girls who probably bristled under these rules too, but in my experience coaching youth sports, the boys require/enjoy more motion, more adventure, and more physicality than girls.
Considering the Russiagate Hoax stuff blowing up perhaps men and boys shouldn't listen to a fucking piece of shit like Obama.
Call me crazy, but it's worth a shot.
Just to ask, didn't the graph on sex of teachers show there is a parity of male teachers in high school? That the biggest lack of male teachers in elementary school, then middle school.
No. Here is the data from PEW: "About three-quarters (77%) of teachers are women and 23% are men, according to data from the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) for the 2020-21 school year, which is the most recent one available. This gender imbalance is especially notable in elementary schools, where 89% of teachers are women. Women make up 72% of middle school teachers and 60% of secondary or high school teachers."
I just ask because that would dispute a point made. Maybe we need more male elementary school teachers? And middle school. If I remember, high school was basically fine.
It's about 45% male in HS, you're right. BUT it's falling fastest there. And I've come to think that men in MS and HS is perhaps even more important than ES.
Nothing good will happen until the American Left comes to terms with the fact that a 70% out-of-wedlock birth-rate among African-Americans is just crushing. 61% of African-American kids grow up in single-parents homes (most without a father figure). If you wanted to design a society to prevent social, economic, and academic advancement, you couldn’t do a better job.
But no one on The Left is allowed to say this. All other talk about the value of men is just noise.
What would that guy know about the male experience?
Very nice. Thank you. Boy Scouts, Sunday school, dad's who build models with you, play catch and take you to Little League tryouts. It's not asking too much. And a weeknight out with boys for pops once a month. Oh and the dissing of men has got to stop obviously. Call it out when you hear it. #mentoo.
I've been following this subject since becoming aware of your work and the widening gaps between men and women along with a scary level of polarization. I am glad when public figures share their own evolving understanding of the issues.
I understand why having a role as protectors could be important and positive for men. I support this with mixed feelings. I am married to a man who takes this role as well as the role of provider very seriously. Because he is the kind of person who never stops learning, he is able to balance these instincts and doesn't, usually, end up negating my own strengths and instincts in this area. I grew up an oldest child of many. I raised a child and was the one whose job it was to keep him safe. We've both found that it takes some skill and negotiation to manage those moments when his instinct and self worth as protector/provider collides with my own instincts and need to be recognized as competent and strong. I fear losing certain muscles I'll need again if/when I am widowed. I've also observed relationships where protective men and often using that to control their partners even when they are not aware if it. I think we need, as you've pointed out in your work and to a lesser extent in this post, ways to keep talking these things through together, men and women so we can preserve the positive,reduce the negatives, and allow all of us to flourish..
Women perpetrate domestic violence as often as men do. The research findings establishing that fact goes back to the 1970s, starting with the research of Straus, Steinmetz, and Gelles. Feminists made death threats against the three to try to silence them.
I don't think this is likely to be true or untrue. Men are much more aggressive than women, which I imagine leads to some very different behaviors vis a vis domestic violence. If you measure that they're the same, I suspect the measurement wasn't finely pointed enough to pull out all the data
https://www.humanrightsaction.org/violence/Fiebert/english.html
How many books has BO penned? Going by the charity shop copies I've seen recently, he must have spent his entire presidency writing or giving interviews.
I fall asleep looking at him.
I always take advice from someone who never experienced what they pontificate about and profess to be an expert on, especially if he is a privileged black man who went to Harvard based on -what? Did he himself have the father that he describes as always being known as a providers, having a job, and coming home from work each day to his family? I don't think so.
Not to mention, that his black 'community' has not been part of that ethos for many years now, for reasons having little or nothing to do the ones that he mentions - but most often because of Democrat-created dependency on all sorts of working, taxpayer-funded government handouts by young, unwed black mothers and their grandmoms who can get paid by the government to watch any number of babies with out fathers in the home, such that fathers became irrelevant, irresponsible, and nowhere to be found.
I long for the day when most, if not all, of my black brothers and sisters wake up and finally free themselves from continuing to be slaves down on the Democrat plantation.
I wonder what your take is on the gender breakdown in these recent IMO results Richard?