One of the key takeaways for me from your writing is, “oh, I’m not a freak, actually.” I really, really struggled in so many of the ways you’ve described, especially academically. I always assumed it was because I was uniquely bad at school, stupid, lazy, etc.
Your work is helping me see that that’s not the case, and that I’m (tragically) more normal than I thought I was. It’s reassuring to me to know I’m not alone, but disheartening to know that so many other men are struggling similarly.
That Tate piece you linked to is a pretty special hodgepodge of Islamophobia and hyper-conservative culture grievances. Uncomfortable reading not just because of Tate but also the author’s pretty appalling points of view which are apparent from the piece.
I was jumping for joy to read your description of research on the grading methods, specifically grading based on assignment vs assessment. As soon as my son started school, it became painfully clear that he and other boys were at a disadvantage because of the huge emphasis on completing homework everyday — all manner of assignments. Test scores through the years showed very high levels of comprehension of math while grades were low.
Could you explain what exactly the difference is between assessment grading versus assignment grading?
Tests and Quizzes = 70% of Final grade (85% on tests)
Homework = 20% of Grade (50% on Homework)
Behavior = 10% of Grade. (0 for Behavior)
Final Grade: (70% C-) 60 pts for Tests and Quizzes ; 10 pts for Homework; 0 pts for Behavior
Teacher A Grading Policy: Student 2
Tests and Quizzes = 70% of Final grade (70% on tests)
Homework = 20% of Grade (100% on Homework)
Behavior = 10% of Grade. (100 for Behavior)
Final Grade: (79% C+) 49 pts for Tests and Quizzes ; 20 pts for Homework; 10 pts for Behavior
Student 1 finished with an 85% average on tests (actual assessments) but finished lower by nearly a full letter grade than Student 2 whose average test score was 70% because Student 2 handed in homework and was better behaved in class.
Oh oh, what can I say. A HUGE degree of bias can be sprinkled (unconsciously?) in to the piles of complicated grades calculations. This is a perfect example.
I imagine if this teacher were asked directly: “do you think that a student’s behaviour is significantly more important than intelligence and capability?” he/she would say no, not significantly more important. Yet the — what seems to me moralistic and judgemental — attitude seeps through and takes control if the grading process.
For me, this is why CG Jung’s psychology is so terribly valuable. We assume a person’s unconscious beliefs are very powerful and can function autonomously in that person’s (or the whole culture’s) behaviour.
Homework should be done for the purpose of understanding and mastering the material. The assessment shows the understanding level - afterall, the student may have had assistance on the homework. I was never a teacher - I was a teaching assistant dealing with students at the college Junior through graduate student level in Physics, Mechanicl Engineering, and Materials Science.
Thanks John, I enjoyed my years as teaching assistant tremendously. Your work sounds very satisfying too.
I’m thinking about early education for boys: pre 9th grade, grade school and even kindergarten (! Yes even kindergartners are given homework assignments in many US school systems!). The huge developmental differences between boys and girls are of course most important in the early years. From my own experiences in the 80’s and from all I hear from current parents in my role as psychotherapist, I’m amazed that early education is still based on girl’s abilities, which continues to put boys at a significant disadvantage. And contributes to the extent to which boys ‘hate school’ — and sets boys up to feel they are stupid and inadequate. That early influence impacts boys and men for life.
Thats why I would like to understand the research that Richard has described - how are the teaching methods defined?
What’s interesting here is there’s been a huge push in the US recently to move away from assessments and exams and more to coursework and assignments, because allegedly there’s a large number of students who choke/struggle with exams and people increasingly believe that a single snapshot from the day of the exam cannot be a reflection of overall understanding.
But it seems to me that this shift is yet another educational policy shift which likely favors girls rather than boys due to girls’ increased executive function. As folks scream from the rooftops at how the education system favors girls, we make more changes that favor them further.
I didn't realize that, living outside of the US now. I guess the bottom line is how to get a good measure of a student's comprehension, and their ability to use what they comprehend.
The stress of exams, as we all realize, doesn't promote clear thinking, nor good expression of the student's comprehension. But the structure and type of 'assignments' needs to be considered in the light of boys. My son's high school chemistry class wanted to make chem more appealing, more 'meaningful,' so it required students to read the text-book -- every word -- and then write (ie, prose) what they thought the text book was conveying. This was one of the most shocking and frankly stupid applications of 'assignment thinking' I had ever seen. Needless to say, it did not go well for my son.
As research biochemist myself, in love with chemistry and using it in a meaningful way, I could not hide my outrage from my son, which didn't help him in his struggle.
Loving chemistry and using it is not about creating prose!
I made my kids do math. In fact, I drove them crazy about it. "You have to learn my way of long division as well as the way the teacher tells you. I know I am a mean dad, but do it my way as well and show me the work." Later, when they had to divide polynomials they saw why I taught them the traditional way. I had the kids read rather than watch video. No TV, no little video screens. Yes, my son really started on captain underpants, but so what. As long as it was reading. And I got him a kindle so that he could read under the cover at night. He was getting away with something - but he was reading.
I had the kids take the most advanced math they could handle. My son wasn't as mathematically apt as his older sister, but he still survived calculus in what would have been 11th grade, when he went to Running Start. His sister did calculus in 10th grade before dropping out of high school and doing early admission to the university.
He did business and MIS in college, she did civil engineering.
When my first marriage collapsed, the counselor thought I was a hopeless reactionary when I told her that I viewed the characteristics valued in 'IF' as overall meritotorious. My daughter even recited it as her favorite poem in English class - and Kipling is no longer socially acceptable.
I was forced as well John and I have to say I'm so grateful for it. Without it I can't imagine I would have been successful in business and finance and become a pilot. Speaking of aviation I've been involved in Young Eagles which has given 2.3 million young people from 8–17 their first free ride in a small airplane. I've personally seen how nothing gets a boy to do his math homework better than when he realizes that's what it takes to learn to fly. ;)
Yours would be only the second institute in the world for the study of boys and men. The only one in America. The other being John Barry and Martin Seager’s Centre for Male Psychology in London. Thank you.
Re: your praise of the Corbin piece, the quoted passage makes sense and is relatable. That said, my only hesitation is the characterization of “circling wagons” as necessarily always a bad thing. Interestingly, in the right circumstances it’s a natural and appropriate thing to do when one feels threatened, or in a more positive view, when it’s time to gather together and focus on core principles and defining mission. Christopher Lasch asked us to revisit the merits of values and world views that he saw as abandoned to society’s detriment. Was he “circling wagons” during a tumultuous period in American history or asking us to scan the past to help us find and preserve our better natures?
I agree that ‘circling wagons’ is a natural and healthy response at times - in the life of individuals. When polarization and fear become entrenched in the larger society, as it seems these days, it becomes a vicious cycle, actually sort of feeding on itself and it grows, becomes more extreme. (Sociology and history have shown this, and we can see it in the current epidemic of irrational conspiracy beliefs)
From trauma research we know that fear and harsh emotions cause black and white thinking, interfere with nuanced reasoning and psychological flexibility. At the society-wide level, it can be very destructive. Again, history has many examples.
I agree completely. That said, the metaphor conjures the image of a plural of wagons for a reason. It’s how we build and demonstrate solidarity, not always out of polarization and fear, but also because it’s sometimes the right thing to do to preserve and promote civility, and raise a call to action. An insufficiently discerning critic of the more prominent voices exploring men’s social and psychological health today might unfairly perceive Reeves, Peterson, and Tate as examples of men collectively “circling the wagons.” This would be a broad and unfortunate brush that totally misses the important differences between agenda driven ideology vs. research and evidence. My point being, call it what we will, when we go out on a limb to get people’s attention about something very important, and when we use the word “crisis” to do so, we are attempting to build community that may be perceived and labeled by others using the metaphor of wagon circling as a pejorative. One person’s wagon circling is another person’s Chautauqua.
Ok, a good point. I guess it is important when one uses the term 'circling wagons' that the situation they are describing has to do with joining forces in a state of fear of attack, preparing to defend themselves against something powerful and dangerous. Of course the term can always be used unfairly to criticize people who are joining forces, so to speak.
Fantastic as always. Forwarded to my husband and brother (dads to 4 boys between them)
One small thing...ELA and math don't balance out. I know you are talking populations wide, but, my oldest boy has dysgraphia. He basically had to relearn math every time he did it because of how his brain functions. But he was reading at a high school level in 3rd grade. His teachers always told us it would balance out...it never did. His profound sense of failure based on how he couldn't write math or essays well enough to translate his reading and eloquence haunts him still as he goes into 10th grade. My brilliant boy thinks he is a failure every day because he couldn't do what his elementary school teachers kept telling him he should be able to. I feel like I will never get over my heartbreak for him.
Few things get my attention faster than an Of Boys and Men post. One of the key drivers of girls success in math has been found to be higher self discipline among girls. Perhaps it is an element of socialization but it’s an advantage in this context. Boys are falling behind as they have lost other supports. What’s fascinating is how each sex needs different elements to thrive and is vulnerable in its own unique ways.
Thanks for drawing attention to the influence of grade weighting, assignments vs. assessments, and the variation there.
Thank you so much for writing this.
One of the key takeaways for me from your writing is, “oh, I’m not a freak, actually.” I really, really struggled in so many of the ways you’ve described, especially academically. I always assumed it was because I was uniquely bad at school, stupid, lazy, etc.
Your work is helping me see that that’s not the case, and that I’m (tragically) more normal than I thought I was. It’s reassuring to me to know I’m not alone, but disheartening to know that so many other men are struggling similarly.
That Tate piece you linked to is a pretty special hodgepodge of Islamophobia and hyper-conservative culture grievances. Uncomfortable reading not just because of Tate but also the author’s pretty appalling points of view which are apparent from the piece.
I was jumping for joy to read your description of research on the grading methods, specifically grading based on assignment vs assessment. As soon as my son started school, it became painfully clear that he and other boys were at a disadvantage because of the huge emphasis on completing homework everyday — all manner of assignments. Test scores through the years showed very high levels of comprehension of math while grades were low.
Could you explain what exactly the difference is between assessment grading versus assignment grading?
Dear N Cook, Imagine the following:
Teacher A Grading Policy (Student 1)
Tests and Quizzes = 70% of Final grade (85% on tests)
Homework = 20% of Grade (50% on Homework)
Behavior = 10% of Grade. (0 for Behavior)
Final Grade: (70% C-) 60 pts for Tests and Quizzes ; 10 pts for Homework; 0 pts for Behavior
Teacher A Grading Policy: Student 2
Tests and Quizzes = 70% of Final grade (70% on tests)
Homework = 20% of Grade (100% on Homework)
Behavior = 10% of Grade. (100 for Behavior)
Final Grade: (79% C+) 49 pts for Tests and Quizzes ; 20 pts for Homework; 10 pts for Behavior
Student 1 finished with an 85% average on tests (actual assessments) but finished lower by nearly a full letter grade than Student 2 whose average test score was 70% because Student 2 handed in homework and was better behaved in class.
Oh oh, what can I say. A HUGE degree of bias can be sprinkled (unconsciously?) in to the piles of complicated grades calculations. This is a perfect example.
I imagine if this teacher were asked directly: “do you think that a student’s behaviour is significantly more important than intelligence and capability?” he/she would say no, not significantly more important. Yet the — what seems to me moralistic and judgemental — attitude seeps through and takes control if the grading process.
For me, this is why CG Jung’s psychology is so terribly valuable. We assume a person’s unconscious beliefs are very powerful and can function autonomously in that person’s (or the whole culture’s) behaviour.
Many teachers have class participation grades. Which is fine. If not done properly, however, it becomes a popularity contest.
Homework should be done for the purpose of understanding and mastering the material. The assessment shows the understanding level - afterall, the student may have had assistance on the homework. I was never a teacher - I was a teaching assistant dealing with students at the college Junior through graduate student level in Physics, Mechanicl Engineering, and Materials Science.
Thanks John, I enjoyed my years as teaching assistant tremendously. Your work sounds very satisfying too.
I’m thinking about early education for boys: pre 9th grade, grade school and even kindergarten (! Yes even kindergartners are given homework assignments in many US school systems!). The huge developmental differences between boys and girls are of course most important in the early years. From my own experiences in the 80’s and from all I hear from current parents in my role as psychotherapist, I’m amazed that early education is still based on girl’s abilities, which continues to put boys at a significant disadvantage. And contributes to the extent to which boys ‘hate school’ — and sets boys up to feel they are stupid and inadequate. That early influence impacts boys and men for life.
Thats why I would like to understand the research that Richard has described - how are the teaching methods defined?
What’s interesting here is there’s been a huge push in the US recently to move away from assessments and exams and more to coursework and assignments, because allegedly there’s a large number of students who choke/struggle with exams and people increasingly believe that a single snapshot from the day of the exam cannot be a reflection of overall understanding.
But it seems to me that this shift is yet another educational policy shift which likely favors girls rather than boys due to girls’ increased executive function. As folks scream from the rooftops at how the education system favors girls, we make more changes that favor them further.
I didn't realize that, living outside of the US now. I guess the bottom line is how to get a good measure of a student's comprehension, and their ability to use what they comprehend.
The stress of exams, as we all realize, doesn't promote clear thinking, nor good expression of the student's comprehension. But the structure and type of 'assignments' needs to be considered in the light of boys. My son's high school chemistry class wanted to make chem more appealing, more 'meaningful,' so it required students to read the text-book -- every word -- and then write (ie, prose) what they thought the text book was conveying. This was one of the most shocking and frankly stupid applications of 'assignment thinking' I had ever seen. Needless to say, it did not go well for my son.
As research biochemist myself, in love with chemistry and using it in a meaningful way, I could not hide my outrage from my son, which didn't help him in his struggle.
Loving chemistry and using it is not about creating prose!
I made my kids do math. In fact, I drove them crazy about it. "You have to learn my way of long division as well as the way the teacher tells you. I know I am a mean dad, but do it my way as well and show me the work." Later, when they had to divide polynomials they saw why I taught them the traditional way. I had the kids read rather than watch video. No TV, no little video screens. Yes, my son really started on captain underpants, but so what. As long as it was reading. And I got him a kindle so that he could read under the cover at night. He was getting away with something - but he was reading.
I had the kids take the most advanced math they could handle. My son wasn't as mathematically apt as his older sister, but he still survived calculus in what would have been 11th grade, when he went to Running Start. His sister did calculus in 10th grade before dropping out of high school and doing early admission to the university.
He did business and MIS in college, she did civil engineering.
When my first marriage collapsed, the counselor thought I was a hopeless reactionary when I told her that I viewed the characteristics valued in 'IF' as overall meritotorious. My daughter even recited it as her favorite poem in English class - and Kipling is no longer socially acceptable.
Thanks for reminding me about this poem. For those who’d like to read it: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46473/if---
I was forced as well John and I have to say I'm so grateful for it. Without it I can't imagine I would have been successful in business and finance and become a pilot. Speaking of aviation I've been involved in Young Eagles which has given 2.3 million young people from 8–17 their first free ride in a small airplane. I've personally seen how nothing gets a boy to do his math homework better than when he realizes that's what it takes to learn to fly. ;)
Yours would be only the second institute in the world for the study of boys and men. The only one in America. The other being John Barry and Martin Seager’s Centre for Male Psychology in London. Thank you.
Re: your praise of the Corbin piece, the quoted passage makes sense and is relatable. That said, my only hesitation is the characterization of “circling wagons” as necessarily always a bad thing. Interestingly, in the right circumstances it’s a natural and appropriate thing to do when one feels threatened, or in a more positive view, when it’s time to gather together and focus on core principles and defining mission. Christopher Lasch asked us to revisit the merits of values and world views that he saw as abandoned to society’s detriment. Was he “circling wagons” during a tumultuous period in American history or asking us to scan the past to help us find and preserve our better natures?
I agree that ‘circling wagons’ is a natural and healthy response at times - in the life of individuals. When polarization and fear become entrenched in the larger society, as it seems these days, it becomes a vicious cycle, actually sort of feeding on itself and it grows, becomes more extreme. (Sociology and history have shown this, and we can see it in the current epidemic of irrational conspiracy beliefs)
From trauma research we know that fear and harsh emotions cause black and white thinking, interfere with nuanced reasoning and psychological flexibility. At the society-wide level, it can be very destructive. Again, history has many examples.
I agree completely. That said, the metaphor conjures the image of a plural of wagons for a reason. It’s how we build and demonstrate solidarity, not always out of polarization and fear, but also because it’s sometimes the right thing to do to preserve and promote civility, and raise a call to action. An insufficiently discerning critic of the more prominent voices exploring men’s social and psychological health today might unfairly perceive Reeves, Peterson, and Tate as examples of men collectively “circling the wagons.” This would be a broad and unfortunate brush that totally misses the important differences between agenda driven ideology vs. research and evidence. My point being, call it what we will, when we go out on a limb to get people’s attention about something very important, and when we use the word “crisis” to do so, we are attempting to build community that may be perceived and labeled by others using the metaphor of wagon circling as a pejorative. One person’s wagon circling is another person’s Chautauqua.
Ok, a good point. I guess it is important when one uses the term 'circling wagons' that the situation they are describing has to do with joining forces in a state of fear of attack, preparing to defend themselves against something powerful and dangerous. Of course the term can always be used unfairly to criticize people who are joining forces, so to speak.
Fantastic as always. Forwarded to my husband and brother (dads to 4 boys between them)
One small thing...ELA and math don't balance out. I know you are talking populations wide, but, my oldest boy has dysgraphia. He basically had to relearn math every time he did it because of how his brain functions. But he was reading at a high school level in 3rd grade. His teachers always told us it would balance out...it never did. His profound sense of failure based on how he couldn't write math or essays well enough to translate his reading and eloquence haunts him still as he goes into 10th grade. My brilliant boy thinks he is a failure every day because he couldn't do what his elementary school teachers kept telling him he should be able to. I feel like I will never get over my heartbreak for him.
Few things get my attention faster than an Of Boys and Men post. One of the key drivers of girls success in math has been found to be higher self discipline among girls. Perhaps it is an element of socialization but it’s an advantage in this context. Boys are falling behind as they have lost other supports. What’s fascinating is how each sex needs different elements to thrive and is vulnerable in its own unique ways.