24 Comments

As a father of a boy I find this book incredible important. This is a necessary conversation and the ideological barriers identified by Reeves are spot on. We need to be able to talk about men and masculinity as a companion to the principles and goals of feminism.

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My father alluded to this in one sentence within the last few months when no one else could hear our conversation. The lack of abundant apprenticeship programs in Nevada pissed me off and there is also the fact that no employers were willing to do on the job training also pissed me off.

Despite having a bachelor's degree, I am still unemployed. To me college felt like a waste of time and attention and has not provided any income return for effort expended. I really hated having to resort to college because the Nevada State Government didn't have in place any meaningful apprenticeship programs at all when I left the military.

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Consider the male presentation in early childhood tv shows and books. It is hard to find positive male role models in newer productions. If we want males to grow into a positive contributors to more diverse and equitable gender roles, we need to show them how from their earliest experiences.

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You're missing the mark on solutions because you haven't figured out the cause. A little common sense often goes a long way where science fails. What is the reason for the gender gap in higher education? Once you hear the answer it will seem obvious. In autistic children there is a gender gap of somewhere between 4:1 at most and 2:1 at least, with males being more susceptible. The cause of autism is environmental toxins, which may include vaccines. So males are more susceptible to brain damage from environmental toxins than females. There is a spectrum of levels of brain damage in autism, so it should be obvious that there is going to be subclinical brain damage that occurs in males at a higher rate than females which will inevitably lead to a gender gap in higher education. The bottom line is we have to stop poisoning our children. There is a CDC whistleblower, William Thompson, that revealed that the CDC destroyed evidence that concluded that African American males are 3x more likely to end up with autism from the MMR vaxxine. The CDC has lost all credibility. That's a fight you might not be ready for, but if you really care about boys and men, you need to stand up for the truth.

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Feb 15, 2023·edited Feb 15, 2023

One item that has come up a lot lately is the role of social media and dating apps and the negative impacts they're having on young adults and especially males.

Is this addressed in the book or in the newsletter?

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I find it interesting that this is a problem now that it's a problem for whites. We've been seeing these kinds of problems with males in the African American community since the 1970's.

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Richard, I have not read your book, but I have listened to a recent podcast in which you talk about it. Unable to write myself, I want to that you hugely for it. I am mother to 3 boys & identity so much with their struggles that I am really only seeing now in their young adulthood, as they struggle with the reality of being in the big wide world, getting a job, a partner..

There are so many truths in what you say about maleness, they live in the present far more than women, there are so many times I have wished to think like that, their lives seemed so less complicated. And happy! Until now. They are lost...we don’t talk about it, but I know they are. They are humble & they are nice, but they are suppressed. I can feel the apologetic way they are having to go through life. Brainwashed into thinking they have white male privilege when they don’t. We don’t talk about it because I don’t want to put victim hood inside their head, but it is real & it is legitimate. My eldest has also declared himself trans. I know that this is not a particular feature of your book, but I think it is related. There is such confusion among young people regarding gender. The roles should be celebrated for what they are. Happier, lighter days. So I thank you for contributing to the discussion. It takes bravery & it shouldn’t

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Hi Richard! I just listened to your podcast episode with Andrew Yang and love that this is being talked about. In talking about the differences in brain development between boys and girls, its similar to the areas of the brain that are behind developmentally (to a much stronger degree) with some neurodivergent (especially ADHD) kids. There are already many strategies that exist what can be enormously helpful for neurodivergent students that could also be helpful for everyone, and my main thought was: Has anyone looked into mainstreaming some ADHD teaching/classroom strategies that have been proven to be effective for kids with an underdeveloped executive function system as a solution? Generally ADHD friendly teaching strategies are helpful for everyone, though the benefit is of course most apparent for those who were struggling with self-management in the first place, which it seems includes the majority of boys!

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The thing is even girls don’t want to go to colleges with over 60% female enrollment. 90% of females still want a male partner.

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My experience is the opposite. I'm currently on the final year of my PhD in Neuroscience in the University of Edinburgh, with the majority of students being female (about double amount of women compared to men) and I haven't come across a single female student or doctorate whose partner is not also in academia or didn't graduate from university. Also, I have definitely noticed more female attention since starting the PhD course compared to before university, when I was a care-worker. But I do find that idea weird, that some girls would be put off by the high female enrolment, since that could affect their chances of finding an academic male partner. That really shows how different men and women think.

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Sep 19, 2022·edited Sep 19, 2022

The problem is militaristic, but not exactly a war on boys and men. It's more like the Glorious Female Empire dispatching its forces to colonize and subjugate males, especially psychologically.

The result? Consider https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNb-OU0x618, a two-part 7-minute video.

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The context for this video was to highlight the ways racism impacts students. I'm curious what parallels you would draw between Jane Elliot's Race Experiment and modern male to female dynamics today? I don't understand the point you're making.

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The video is about the insidious effect of widespread beliefs of inferiority on those widely believed -- or at least claimed -- to be inferior. Race... eye color... not sex? Perhaps I should have made the fade-in, fade-out images on the periphery more central. I think many boys do not fail to notice them in their daily lives, at least at a subconscious, feeling level. And they feel they cannot speak because so many people say, "I don't see a problem." But thanks for taking a look. And thanks for asking for clarification.

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Oh! Please correct me if I’m incorrect; the point you were making is that men feel inferior and increasingly western culture reinforces that insecurity while claiming it doesn’t exist.

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Yes, but I'd put a slightly divergent point on it. Many men and boys feel that it's terribly unfair, disappointing and dispiriting in the midst of decades of anti-sexist activism that the Zeitgeist enthusiastically promulgates the notion of female superiority.

The most sexist idea of all is that only one sex is ever sexist and only one sex is ever harmed by sexism. Men and boys don't, can't, don't dare to articulate anti-male sexism.

Let's look deeper than "men feel inferior." Men and boys are made to feel inferior. Branding men and boys as inferior serves to keep them from campaigning for and gaining equality in the traditionally female domains of family, parenting, emotionality, expressiveness, non-sexual touch, presumption of virtue, presumption of innocence in conflicts between the sexes "Believe the woman! (Call the man a liar)" ... and more.

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I’m sure many men feel resentful. Although, I don’t think it’s men feeling inferior, and the cultural reinforcement of it that keeps men from being expressive, intimate, emotional, and involved in the family.

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It's fear.

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thanks for posting the video link, Jack. brilliant exercise and powerful educational effort the teacher did with that class of kids .... how she kept a straight face i don't know. not gender-based or militaristic at all. it did give those a kids a chance to be on both sides of experiencing discrimination first hand, if only for a day each. bet that teacher would be fired today.

sad that you see this excellent little video as an example of one-way gender discrimination. we have a long way to go to sort out and realign ourselves.

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The video is about the insidious effect of widespread beliefs of inferiority on those widely believed -- or at least claimed -- to be inferior. Race... eye color... not sex? Perhaps I should have made the fade-in, fade-out images on the periphery more central. I think many boys do not fail to notice them in their daily lives, at least at a subconscious, feeling level. And they feel they cannot speak because so many people say, "I don't see a problem." But thanks for taking a look.

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Fascinating! Not having read much about this, these two observations may be superfluous, but anyway here goes.

1. Redshirting one boy is different from redshirting all the boys. The one boy becomes older than his classmates if he's the only one redshirted, but not if all are. (Of course, they all are more developed: see observation no. 2.)

2. The argument would not just be for boys to start the same system one year later: it would be for the system to be changed. The revised system would have an earlier year (pre-K) that everyone takes AND boys would start it one year older. So girls' starting age advances and boys' stays the same, and there is a more-elementary year added to the system.

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My sister was advocating starting children born after October to be enrolled in the next year's class so they can socially mature. I was pushed out the door when I was 4 and had to play catch up every year until 10th grade. Noticed the difference in the kids started later, more confident, able to concentrate in class and didn't get bullied by classmates or teachers. Also, having gone through a trade school gave me a better direction in life than I had in the college prep courses in high school. To top that off, almost half of my fellow students in the trade school went off to college. Could be a function of having good male mentors along with better direction in the studies.

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Glad you pushed past your reluctance to write about this. Sounds like you bring a lot of passion and knowledge to the topic.

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Looking forward to reading your new book! Are any book signing or lecture events planned for the anywhere greater Washington, DC area?

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