The Stantcheva quote is really well put, and is applicable beyond gender as well. McGee’s “The Sum of Us” and accompanying podcast does a great job of showing the dangers of zero sum thinking and also the wins available when thinkers and doers get outside the zero sum mindset.
Do not fail to appreciate what it to not have health insurance and to think of having a baby and caring for that child —-all without HEALTH INSURANCE- for a lifetime - is grindingly disheartening.
Do not infer appreciate what it to not have health insurance and the. To think of having a baby and caring for that child —-all without HEALTH INSURANCE
As a long time reader of your blog, it's great to hear that your work is being acknowledged and included in the larger conversation at hand surrounding this critical topic. The struggle of men is close to my heart, and forms the centrepiece of my own Substack offering quick, actionable advice for men who grew up without fathers, or men who lack patriarchal role models.
Although I appreciate the spirit of your work and efforts and with this piece, I hope you’re reading and taking the critique in the comment section to heart. A lot of the commentary is touching on real and perceived issues in how you framed this subject with equality (which is by definition zero sum), casual misandry (Gates’ comment on making better men to serve women better) and critical theory/intersectionalism (which is getting further and further slammed for the sham ideology it is). Those 3 elements take away from the spirit of what you’re trying to achieve and losing the support of men (which should be the primary cheerleaders of this undertaking).
The old fashioned version of feminism regarding women’s right to vote and own property was overtaken by Marxism in the 1960’s thanks to Herbert Marcuse and is largely responsible for the issues we see today regarding gender wars. Intersectionality was created by Kimberlee Crenshaw in the 1990’s heavily inspired by Antonio Gramsci and the Frankfurt School of Critical Theory, Marx’s theory of oppressor vs oppressed applied to identity and culture created in the 1920’s. Any movement meant to help men must avoid this trap and you can fall into it without realizing. Affirmative action and racial or gender quotas are Marxist solutions that fight discrimination with discrimination and fester animosity.
You can try encouraging men to enter HEAL positions, but understand that few will do so because of the simple fact that the nature of men and women are different and vital for society to function. Gender equality should not be a zero sum game, but there are no easy answers however, the suggestions regarding fatherhood, education, and mental health are a good place to start.
I so much appreciate the work you are doing and also the conversations generated. I am curious about what feels like subtle disdain for "Iron John" that you expressed in your book, I the chapter "seeing red." It seems to me that what you noted there - again seemingly somewhat disdainfully - is about the importance of story. Hairy men, frogs, lobsters - there is good reason this captures the imagination. What you provide in your book - which is absolutely ESSENTIAL - speaks to the level of systems and policy, and this will be essential when we are talking about systems, schools, governments, policies. But for individuals, it is often story that captivates.
Further, I think the fact that you conflate Peterson and Bly is strange. Is the masculinity of Bly really so retro? Isn't he talking about mentorship and other values that you also value? I heard you on a podcast talk about what it means for you to be a man, and how important that is. Isn't Bly addressing just those issues?
Much can change on the level of policy. But much will have to change in the lives of individual men. Stories are essential for that.
This is a funny comment because “Be a good girl and good woman so you can help me a good partner for men and help make their lives easier!" Is like. Most of what young women hear when they’re young. How to be a good, beautiful partner, often how to cook and clean to take care of a family one day etc etc. it’s just amusing that men hear that they might have to do things like do chores and get a job and be respectful so they might get a partner and hear “women want to take over the world and ruin my life.” Like yes, women have spent all of history being trained to be good partners to men and yes, I think it’s good that men now have to consider being good partners to women. I understand it’s painful, but it is ultimately better for everyone.
I observe these gender wars mostly from the outside, I’m a lesbian, but it seems like straight people have fully lost the plot. Like yes! Both partners should be trying to make their lover’s life better and pull them along in good ways? That is literally the most joyful and wonderful part of romantic partnerships. Why would anyone find it so infuriating to simply be told that you should try to be good to the person you’re with and improve their lives/push them to be the best they can be. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where my partner didn’t think that.
This is an absurd statement. Of course women are told to be good people?? We are actually human beings you know. It seems to be that you’re determined to be angry, and that’s fine. But I think people generally should consider trying to be good supportive parters, both men and women. Oddly it’s most often men who find this enraging.
The same narrative as always. We are concerned about men... Because of women. Or because they are becoming extremist. First, we destroy them. By moving our factories, by blaming them for all the bad things of the world, by discriminating them by law... the we shame them because "they are NOT doing so well" (any surprise?).
Then, we finally raise them a bit, just a bit... So they dont get too angry and they kick our ass out of the power...
Thank you. This video shows the Democratic (i.e. feminist) dismissal of men, and expecting men to conform to the Democratic plot, against their own best interests.
Gates frames helping boys and men as good because it makes men better partners for women...
Helping men and boys is an end goal in and of itself.
Her remarks are still highly gynocentric.
It's like how you see those articles about men not earning as much, dropping out of the workforce and college ...and how it is hurting women's dating prospects..
Lol - this society is unbelievably disgustingly gynocentric.
Abolish the male only draft.
Give men the option to abort/give up parenthood like women have.
Get rid of alimony and spousal support. No one should be paying their ex money like a slave. Get the govt out of marriage. Divorce is an industry that is profitable for the state and lawyers. Period. They're parasites.
Reform child support so it has a cap so we don't have people like Kevin Costner paying $60,000 a month in child support! Or Kanye West paying $200,000 a month to a billionaire Kim Kardashian! What a load of crap that is.
Reform domestic violence laws to actually make them fair. The Duluth model is misandrist and sexist against men.
Reform Title IX in college so men don't get falsely accused of a sexual assault then get kicked out of college and lose scholarships without evidence of wrongdoing. Title IX sets up kangaroo courts.
Have equal scholarship opportunity for men and women, there are ten times more scholarships and support for women than men in college.
End affirmative action hiring which favors women over men. It's sexist and disgusting.
Men don't even own their own private parts in the USA - circumcision is emasculating degrading violent child sexual abuse.
Let's not forget about the circumcision violent male genital mutilation child sexual abuse solely perpetrated upon boys for a hundred years in the so called land of "freedom and liberty" USA, so much freedom yet men don't own their own cocks.
Not to mention all of the disgusting and debased cruel jokes about circumcision and the shaming of foreskin in crappy Hollywood garbage films and banal sitcoms.
Men don't have basic genital integrity and body autonomy for a century in a land where people see themselves as world leaders and the most moral and ethical! Such evil misandrist hypocrisy.
Women talk about my body my choice, and society is blind to the routine sexual mutilation and fight flight freeze trauma that is perpetrated upon baby boys.
Also, women have optional motherhood, but fatherhood is forced and at the mercy of the woman and the state. Men don't have reproductive rights either.
Then there's the male only draft, but I digress.
Circumcision is violent blade rape.
Europe, Japan, the majority of the world - knows better.
That's actual rape culture.
Foregen is a biotech company raising money for the final phase 3 of 3 human trials on GoFundMe.
They are regenerating foreskins through regenerative medicine to reverse circumcision mutilation.
They've already had successful phase 2 animal trials and have received millions on donations.
They're almost ready to be public.
Over 6500+ species of mammals have foreskins, it is not a mistake.
It has the majority of nerve endings and sensitivity of the penis. More pleasure, lubrication, less excessive friction WHICH ACTUALLY REDUCES DISEASE TRANSMISSION! YES, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT. CIRCUMCISION=MORE FRICTION=MORE MICRO CUTS AND ABRASIONS=MORE HIV TRANSMISSION AND STDs - look it up.
European medical associations know how disgusting and crippling circumcision is.
Iceland almost banned circumcision but the selfish ADL and the USA pressured them not to. They will vote in a few years again to try to ban it again.
I hope they do.
Any culture that circumcises is not ethical or modern, but they are child sexual abusers and traumatizers.
No argument about it.
Also, they sell baby boy foreskin cells online as HFF, neonatal human foreskin fibroblasts, for $500 a vial in Sigma Aldrich and other biotech firms.
Circumcision and foreskin is a billion dollar industry.
Cosmetic companies can test their product on foreskin fibroblasts and then say they are CRUELTY FREE on their packaging! Why! Because they didn't test on the precious animals! Animals that are cared for more than human baby boys.
Society only cares about men when it starts to affect women.
Like that dumb crap Hilary Clinton said..."women are most affected when men die in war. They leave them behind..."
Lol... absolutely pathetic and self centered these people are.
Clearly you can see that men are just viewed as utilities and as the means to satisfy and support women, just by this language they use and Gates' opening quote in this article.
Evolutionarily speaking, having empathy for men and boys might not even be possible - that's why we need policy that counteracts this even more.
It's been shown that women have a very strong in group bias for other women, and even men prefer and see women with a halo effect! Men are seen by both genders with suspicion and less empathy. It's the empathy gap. Look up the studies, fact check me, etc.
Thank you for doing important work in this area. I have spanned 30 years in education, teaching everything from Kindergarten to seniors in high school. Many students I have had twice. I have shared your thoughts for a very long time, and I am so glad you have the pulpit to bring this issue to the mainstream. I am still in the classroom, and would be open to collaborating in the future.
For those of us men who are therapists and sex educators, it appears that less than 20% of the new therapists/psychologists we are training are male, and most of us can count on one hand the number of young sex educators who are male.
The trouble is, I'm pretty sure that if I were a teenager today and had access to all of the amazing videogames and free porn, I'm not so sure I would have graduated from high school, let alone have spent years in graduate school.
I think sports is still an important avenue for boys and young men because it at least gets them off their phones and requires them to relate to others in real life—a problem that college instructors tell me has become increasingly real for young men today. They are finding that many of their male students are lost without their phones and don’t even know how to have a conversation with women in real life.
I fully understand how frustrating IS seeing your profession becoming feminized. But thats normal: 50% of the society hs started to work, and they have chosen the carreers more relating to care. This has little or nothing to do with phones: its a feminization that has happened as result of women entering in the workplce. Wages go down and men hence run away to more lucrtive or easier professions.
If you re concerned, do something.
Create a male psycologists for instnce. Do talks at schools.
But you will need to convince guys that your profession is lucrtive and the effort is worth.
I don't find it frustrating that my profession is being "feminized." And this has nothing to do with wages or the field of psychology not being lucrative for men or women. The problem is how few men are going to college in the first place, and I'm not seeing where this is the fault of women. As men, we need to stop blaming women for our own failures.
Why is a filure? Why is having a non college degree a failure when men have a possitive gender gap? The possitive gender gap means that they are in the more lucrtive possitions.
Also, according to online dating data, women rate 80% of men as below average in looks.
Women have social media and can see the top men from around the world. Most women prefer these men over what they see as settling.
There are more sexless and relationshipless men than women. Look at the data.
Lots of young women are sharing the top men in terms of looks, money, etc. one after the other.
Hypergamy is real. Look it up.
This is a byproduct of technology and feminism. It is what it is.
Most young men can't really get dates, let alone a solid relationship that is stable...then he could just end up baby trapped, having to pay child support, because men don't have reproductive rights like women where women can give up motherhood, but men are forced.
Women can weaponize the police, weaponize marriage law.
There are so many traps.
How about you people focused on the bad behavior of women, too, in the modern day?
Or are you all too gynocentric and woman worshipping to do that?
It goes both ways.
Also, look at women's fan fiction erotic writing if you want to read something that will really make you blush. Dubious consent, hardcore BDSM bondage, paternity fraud, etc. - your average day in a woman's erotic novel - do I ever hear any of you gynocentric man shamers bring that up? No.
Ask yourself why?
You folks never give a fair and equivalent analysis of both sexes, their shortcomings, and all.
Video game and porn consumption is a symptom not a cause.
Virtually all men prefer to have a real relationship, do something meaningful, etc. but there are deeply embedded misandrist behaviors in school systems and in society that discourage these young men.
These young men are demoralized because of how casual misandry is in society that you see in the media, in films ,etc. all of these sadistic feminist revenge films, the women on the View laughing about a man getting his cock chopped off and thrown in a garbage disposal, circumcision is even funny to idiot Americans, too. Young men don't own their own cocks.
Women get preferential affirmative action DEI hired over men, by spades!
All of these special help groups and scholarships in schools just for women.
Get real, you write as if these young men are addicted idiots who prefer video games and porn over real life - they've been ostracized and kicked out of participating in society, effectively.
The male only draft in the USA....women can abandon motherhood, but men are forced into it...such bullshit double standards.
I swear, this substack and everyone who comments here only looks at the surface level symptoms and pretends to be profound.
Thanks, and I agree completely. For what it's worth, . I think there was a Pew Research study that found that a sizable number of men would rather stay home and watch porn than go out on a date - which isn't due to porn, but the caliber of women that many men have encountered lately.
If large numbers of men would rather stay home and watch porn than go out on a date, there is clearly many things wrong with the dating environment that warrant attention.
In my own case, I have told women I was then dating that I wanted to stay home for the day, or weekend, and relax or take care of business. They react by cussing me out. That helped me see that I dodged the proverbial bullet when that happened.
In case you weren’t aware of it, 40-60% of rape accusations are false. There are lots of Substack posts about large numbers of women showing Borderline Personality Disorder triats.
You can watch this woman going from calm to belligerent and assaultive in seconds. Start at 2:40 mark.
I love most of the perspectives that you share here, but I have a strong reservation with the argument that helping men helps women too. While I believe that's true, I also believe that making that argument is problematic. In effect, needing to use that argument is a de facto admittance that helping women and girls is more important and more worthwhile.
Struggling men should be provided support when needed because they are humans with emotional interiors and bodies with sensations. Full stop. No further justifications needed about how it will benefit women and girls too.
I don’t think that’s quite what Richard meant, I think he was highlighting how men being healthier and happier leads everyone to a better place, and was noting that of course happier men will likely lead to happier women (and vice versa). Not everything needs to be processed through a reflexive skepticism of why women’s opinions or reactions might matter.
Beyond that it serves as a type of rebuttal to women who may feel that they shouldn’t have to care about boys and men. In fact those women should care about boys and men because we all have to share this planet together and this pointless gender war seems a bit exhausting. Men do matter as human beings, just as women do, and we don’t have to “win” at the expense of the other.
💯 agree.. society through feminism and the Matriarchal patriachy demonises all men for a few and excuses women for their wrongs while believing all women and treating men guilty until proven innocent . Fathers are erradicated from their children's lives just on the word of a woman with no proof and when the father proves his innocent it's often years in and the relationship with children is destroyed. We need good fathers back in children's lives. Statistics show children do better in all corners of life with good fathers in their lives .. too many single mums that struggle when boys become teenagers after they often chose to erradicate a good father to gain the upper hand in settlement etc.
Finally. Someone who gets it. It's so degrading to have people talk about helping boys and men just because it helps make them "more useful partners for women".
Absolutely gynocentric misandrist garbage when people talk like that - so many of these people are limp wristes posers.
Richard, you rightly and admirably mention fatherhood as a key focus area for improving the lives of men. You would do well to specifically invite women to resist zero-sum thinking about custody and access arrangements post-divorce.
Thank you, Jack. Erin Byrd mentioned on one of her Youtube videos that women tend to be evaluated for their outer beauty, so they have no incentive to improve their inner selves to be better people. Encouraging women to be better people would help with them valuing their ex enough to give him joint custody.
This is just the recognition that the feminist movement has gone so far that we are now in a clear Matriarchy, were the ones to be help are men.
We need gender segregated schools for Boys. Teach boys from masculinity, not from destrucción of masculinity.
We need to stop taking men out of STEM. Period.
Stop discriminating men.
Stop bringing emigration to men work.
Stop bringing to China men work.
Leave men alone.
The Stantcheva quote is really well put, and is applicable beyond gender as well. McGee’s “The Sum of Us” and accompanying podcast does a great job of showing the dangers of zero sum thinking and also the wins available when thinkers and doers get outside the zero sum mindset.
Richard, if you are going to capitalize Black, capitalize White also. Failure to do that shows left-wing racism that is very common these days.
Why younger people are not having families —
LACK OF AFFORDABLE HEALTH INSURANCE —
Do not fail to appreciate what it to not have health insurance and to think of having a baby and caring for that child —-all without HEALTH INSURANCE- for a lifetime - is grindingly disheartening.
CGARYWAINWRIGHT@gmail.com
Men are not marrying and forming families due to the dangers men face in divorce court.
Why younger people are not having families —
LACK OF AFFORDABLE HEALTH INSURANCE —
Do not infer appreciate what it to not have health insurance and the. To think of having a baby and caring for that child —-all without HEALTH INSURANCE
CGARYWAINWRIGHT@gmail.com
As a long time reader of your blog, it's great to hear that your work is being acknowledged and included in the larger conversation at hand surrounding this critical topic. The struggle of men is close to my heart, and forms the centrepiece of my own Substack offering quick, actionable advice for men who grew up without fathers, or men who lack patriarchal role models.
You can find it here: https://dailydad.substack.com/
I would welcome your community's thoughts and suggestions on future posts/themes.
Although I appreciate the spirit of your work and efforts and with this piece, I hope you’re reading and taking the critique in the comment section to heart. A lot of the commentary is touching on real and perceived issues in how you framed this subject with equality (which is by definition zero sum), casual misandry (Gates’ comment on making better men to serve women better) and critical theory/intersectionalism (which is getting further and further slammed for the sham ideology it is). Those 3 elements take away from the spirit of what you’re trying to achieve and losing the support of men (which should be the primary cheerleaders of this undertaking).
The old fashioned version of feminism regarding women’s right to vote and own property was overtaken by Marxism in the 1960’s thanks to Herbert Marcuse and is largely responsible for the issues we see today regarding gender wars. Intersectionality was created by Kimberlee Crenshaw in the 1990’s heavily inspired by Antonio Gramsci and the Frankfurt School of Critical Theory, Marx’s theory of oppressor vs oppressed applied to identity and culture created in the 1920’s. Any movement meant to help men must avoid this trap and you can fall into it without realizing. Affirmative action and racial or gender quotas are Marxist solutions that fight discrimination with discrimination and fester animosity.
You can try encouraging men to enter HEAL positions, but understand that few will do so because of the simple fact that the nature of men and women are different and vital for society to function. Gender equality should not be a zero sum game, but there are no easy answers however, the suggestions regarding fatherhood, education, and mental health are a good place to start.
Men will go to trade schools instead of college, as there is open discrimination against men both in college, and office employment after graduation.
I so much appreciate the work you are doing and also the conversations generated. I am curious about what feels like subtle disdain for "Iron John" that you expressed in your book, I the chapter "seeing red." It seems to me that what you noted there - again seemingly somewhat disdainfully - is about the importance of story. Hairy men, frogs, lobsters - there is good reason this captures the imagination. What you provide in your book - which is absolutely ESSENTIAL - speaks to the level of systems and policy, and this will be essential when we are talking about systems, schools, governments, policies. But for individuals, it is often story that captivates.
Further, I think the fact that you conflate Peterson and Bly is strange. Is the masculinity of Bly really so retro? Isn't he talking about mentorship and other values that you also value? I heard you on a podcast talk about what it means for you to be a man, and how important that is. Isn't Bly addressing just those issues?
Much can change on the level of policy. But much will have to change in the lives of individual men. Stories are essential for that.
"If you have good men and boys in society, they are great partners for women; they help pull women along in good ways."
Seriously? Be a good boy! A good man! So you can be a great partner for a woman and pull women along in good ways! All for the benefit of women!
Pathetic, gynocentric, misandrist drivel.
Imagine reversing the roles: "Be a good girl and good woman so you can help me a good partner for men and help make their lives easier!"
Lol, society would screech to a halt if someone said that crap.
I swear, feminist are some of the most misandrist sexists on the planet, and so are the dumb naive men that don't know any better or don't care.
Treat others the way you want to be treated...we teach that to young children, but grownups can't even put it into practice.
This is a funny comment because “Be a good girl and good woman so you can help me a good partner for men and help make their lives easier!" Is like. Most of what young women hear when they’re young. How to be a good, beautiful partner, often how to cook and clean to take care of a family one day etc etc. it’s just amusing that men hear that they might have to do things like do chores and get a job and be respectful so they might get a partner and hear “women want to take over the world and ruin my life.” Like yes, women have spent all of history being trained to be good partners to men and yes, I think it’s good that men now have to consider being good partners to women. I understand it’s painful, but it is ultimately better for everyone.
I observe these gender wars mostly from the outside, I’m a lesbian, but it seems like straight people have fully lost the plot. Like yes! Both partners should be trying to make their lover’s life better and pull them along in good ways? That is literally the most joyful and wonderful part of romantic partnerships. Why would anyone find it so infuriating to simply be told that you should try to be good to the person you’re with and improve their lives/push them to be the best they can be. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where my partner didn’t think that.
Because only men are told to be good persons - women do not receive those admonitions, or any admonitions.
This is an absurd statement. Of course women are told to be good people?? We are actually human beings you know. It seems to be that you’re determined to be angry, and that’s fine. But I think people generally should consider trying to be good supportive parters, both men and women. Oddly it’s most often men who find this enraging.
The same narrative as always. We are concerned about men... Because of women. Or because they are becoming extremist. First, we destroy them. By moving our factories, by blaming them for all the bad things of the world, by discriminating them by law... the we shame them because "they are NOT doing so well" (any surprise?).
Then, we finally raise them a bit, just a bit... So they dont get too angry and they kick our ass out of the power...
Thank you. This video shows the Democratic (i.e. feminist) dismissal of men, and expecting men to conform to the Democratic plot, against their own best interests.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvyNLOWxfIU
Gates frames helping boys and men as good because it makes men better partners for women...
Helping men and boys is an end goal in and of itself.
Her remarks are still highly gynocentric.
It's like how you see those articles about men not earning as much, dropping out of the workforce and college ...and how it is hurting women's dating prospects..
Lol - this society is unbelievably disgustingly gynocentric.
Abolish the male only draft.
Give men the option to abort/give up parenthood like women have.
Get rid of alimony and spousal support. No one should be paying their ex money like a slave. Get the govt out of marriage. Divorce is an industry that is profitable for the state and lawyers. Period. They're parasites.
Reform child support so it has a cap so we don't have people like Kevin Costner paying $60,000 a month in child support! Or Kanye West paying $200,000 a month to a billionaire Kim Kardashian! What a load of crap that is.
Reform domestic violence laws to actually make them fair. The Duluth model is misandrist and sexist against men.
Reform Title IX in college so men don't get falsely accused of a sexual assault then get kicked out of college and lose scholarships without evidence of wrongdoing. Title IX sets up kangaroo courts.
Have equal scholarship opportunity for men and women, there are ten times more scholarships and support for women than men in college.
End affirmative action hiring which favors women over men. It's sexist and disgusting.
Men don't even own their own private parts in the USA - circumcision is emasculating degrading violent child sexual abuse.
Let's not forget about the circumcision violent male genital mutilation child sexual abuse solely perpetrated upon boys for a hundred years in the so called land of "freedom and liberty" USA, so much freedom yet men don't own their own cocks.
Not to mention all of the disgusting and debased cruel jokes about circumcision and the shaming of foreskin in crappy Hollywood garbage films and banal sitcoms.
Men don't have basic genital integrity and body autonomy for a century in a land where people see themselves as world leaders and the most moral and ethical! Such evil misandrist hypocrisy.
Women talk about my body my choice, and society is blind to the routine sexual mutilation and fight flight freeze trauma that is perpetrated upon baby boys.
Also, women have optional motherhood, but fatherhood is forced and at the mercy of the woman and the state. Men don't have reproductive rights either.
Then there's the male only draft, but I digress.
Circumcision is violent blade rape.
Europe, Japan, the majority of the world - knows better.
That's actual rape culture.
Foregen is a biotech company raising money for the final phase 3 of 3 human trials on GoFundMe.
They are regenerating foreskins through regenerative medicine to reverse circumcision mutilation.
They've already had successful phase 2 animal trials and have received millions on donations.
They're almost ready to be public.
Over 6500+ species of mammals have foreskins, it is not a mistake.
It has the majority of nerve endings and sensitivity of the penis. More pleasure, lubrication, less excessive friction WHICH ACTUALLY REDUCES DISEASE TRANSMISSION! YES, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT. CIRCUMCISION=MORE FRICTION=MORE MICRO CUTS AND ABRASIONS=MORE HIV TRANSMISSION AND STDs - look it up.
European medical associations know how disgusting and crippling circumcision is.
Iceland almost banned circumcision but the selfish ADL and the USA pressured them not to. They will vote in a few years again to try to ban it again.
I hope they do.
Any culture that circumcises is not ethical or modern, but they are child sexual abusers and traumatizers.
No argument about it.
Also, they sell baby boy foreskin cells online as HFF, neonatal human foreskin fibroblasts, for $500 a vial in Sigma Aldrich and other biotech firms.
Circumcision and foreskin is a billion dollar industry.
Cosmetic companies can test their product on foreskin fibroblasts and then say they are CRUELTY FREE on their packaging! Why! Because they didn't test on the precious animals! Animals that are cared for more than human baby boys.
If you care about boys, say something.
Society only cares about men when it starts to affect women.
Like that dumb crap Hilary Clinton said..."women are most affected when men die in war. They leave them behind..."
Lol... absolutely pathetic and self centered these people are.
Clearly you can see that men are just viewed as utilities and as the means to satisfy and support women, just by this language they use and Gates' opening quote in this article.
Evolutionarily speaking, having empathy for men and boys might not even be possible - that's why we need policy that counteracts this even more.
It's been shown that women have a very strong in group bias for other women, and even men prefer and see women with a halo effect! Men are seen by both genders with suspicion and less empathy. It's the empathy gap. Look up the studies, fact check me, etc.
Thank you for doing important work in this area. I have spanned 30 years in education, teaching everything from Kindergarten to seniors in high school. Many students I have had twice. I have shared your thoughts for a very long time, and I am so glad you have the pulpit to bring this issue to the mainstream. I am still in the classroom, and would be open to collaborating in the future.
For those of us men who are therapists and sex educators, it appears that less than 20% of the new therapists/psychologists we are training are male, and most of us can count on one hand the number of young sex educators who are male.
The trouble is, I'm pretty sure that if I were a teenager today and had access to all of the amazing videogames and free porn, I'm not so sure I would have graduated from high school, let alone have spent years in graduate school.
I think sports is still an important avenue for boys and young men because it at least gets them off their phones and requires them to relate to others in real life—a problem that college instructors tell me has become increasingly real for young men today. They are finding that many of their male students are lost without their phones and don’t even know how to have a conversation with women in real life.
I fully understand how frustrating IS seeing your profession becoming feminized. But thats normal: 50% of the society hs started to work, and they have chosen the carreers more relating to care. This has little or nothing to do with phones: its a feminization that has happened as result of women entering in the workplce. Wages go down and men hence run away to more lucrtive or easier professions.
If you re concerned, do something.
Create a male psycologists for instnce. Do talks at schools.
But you will need to convince guys that your profession is lucrtive and the effort is worth.
I don't find it frustrating that my profession is being "feminized." And this has nothing to do with wages or the field of psychology not being lucrative for men or women. The problem is how few men are going to college in the first place, and I'm not seeing where this is the fault of women. As men, we need to stop blaming women for our own failures.
Why is a filure? Why is having a non college degree a failure when men have a possitive gender gap? The possitive gender gap means that they are in the more lucrtive possitions.
Perhaps being a mechanic is more profitable in advance economies than being a psicologyst. In Spain, it is more or less equal.
Also, according to online dating data, women rate 80% of men as below average in looks.
Women have social media and can see the top men from around the world. Most women prefer these men over what they see as settling.
There are more sexless and relationshipless men than women. Look at the data.
Lots of young women are sharing the top men in terms of looks, money, etc. one after the other.
Hypergamy is real. Look it up.
This is a byproduct of technology and feminism. It is what it is.
Most young men can't really get dates, let alone a solid relationship that is stable...then he could just end up baby trapped, having to pay child support, because men don't have reproductive rights like women where women can give up motherhood, but men are forced.
Women can weaponize the police, weaponize marriage law.
There are so many traps.
How about you people focused on the bad behavior of women, too, in the modern day?
Or are you all too gynocentric and woman worshipping to do that?
It goes both ways.
Also, look at women's fan fiction erotic writing if you want to read something that will really make you blush. Dubious consent, hardcore BDSM bondage, paternity fraud, etc. - your average day in a woman's erotic novel - do I ever hear any of you gynocentric man shamers bring that up? No.
Ask yourself why?
You folks never give a fair and equivalent analysis of both sexes, their shortcomings, and all.
Video game and porn consumption is a symptom not a cause.
Virtually all men prefer to have a real relationship, do something meaningful, etc. but there are deeply embedded misandrist behaviors in school systems and in society that discourage these young men.
These young men are demoralized because of how casual misandry is in society that you see in the media, in films ,etc. all of these sadistic feminist revenge films, the women on the View laughing about a man getting his cock chopped off and thrown in a garbage disposal, circumcision is even funny to idiot Americans, too. Young men don't own their own cocks.
Women get preferential affirmative action DEI hired over men, by spades!
All of these special help groups and scholarships in schools just for women.
Get real, you write as if these young men are addicted idiots who prefer video games and porn over real life - they've been ostracized and kicked out of participating in society, effectively.
The male only draft in the USA....women can abandon motherhood, but men are forced into it...such bullshit double standards.
I swear, this substack and everyone who comments here only looks at the surface level symptoms and pretends to be profound.
What rubbish.
Probably won't reply to you, just a heads up.
Thanks, and I agree completely. For what it's worth, . I think there was a Pew Research study that found that a sizable number of men would rather stay home and watch porn than go out on a date - which isn't due to porn, but the caliber of women that many men have encountered lately.
I think this paints a more accurate picture of what is and isn't going on: https://seanjkernan.substack.com/p/sure-because-online-dating-is-such?r=64kp2&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR3IkwzJ9S329zqq3VTKFTDuuoaYyGuRJ9P6AhKJdQMRga5zqEE6duFRiKk_aem_5cJWLR5Gf5e0VZYP-C43dQ&triedRedirect=true
Here's a less cumbersome link:
"Sure, Because Online Dating is Such a Picnic for Men, Too"
https://open.substack.com/pub/seanjkernan/p/sure-because-online-dating-is-such?r=64kp2&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
"The caliber of women"? You mean well educated and less willing to put up with men who have trouble holding a conversation?
Have you heard of the Tinder rule? That 80% of women are only interested in the top 20% of men?
If large numbers of men would rather stay home and watch porn than go out on a date, there is clearly many things wrong with the dating environment that warrant attention.
In my own case, I have told women I was then dating that I wanted to stay home for the day, or weekend, and relax or take care of business. They react by cussing me out. That helped me see that I dodged the proverbial bullet when that happened.
In case you weren’t aware of it, 40-60% of rape accusations are false. There are lots of Substack posts about large numbers of women showing Borderline Personality Disorder triats.
You can watch this woman going from calm to belligerent and assaultive in seconds. Start at 2:40 mark.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjaAF20qDVE
I love most of the perspectives that you share here, but I have a strong reservation with the argument that helping men helps women too. While I believe that's true, I also believe that making that argument is problematic. In effect, needing to use that argument is a de facto admittance that helping women and girls is more important and more worthwhile.
Struggling men should be provided support when needed because they are humans with emotional interiors and bodies with sensations. Full stop. No further justifications needed about how it will benefit women and girls too.
I don’t think that’s quite what Richard meant, I think he was highlighting how men being healthier and happier leads everyone to a better place, and was noting that of course happier men will likely lead to happier women (and vice versa). Not everything needs to be processed through a reflexive skepticism of why women’s opinions or reactions might matter.
Beyond that it serves as a type of rebuttal to women who may feel that they shouldn’t have to care about boys and men. In fact those women should care about boys and men because we all have to share this planet together and this pointless gender war seems a bit exhausting. Men do matter as human beings, just as women do, and we don’t have to “win” at the expense of the other.
💯 agree.. society through feminism and the Matriarchal patriachy demonises all men for a few and excuses women for their wrongs while believing all women and treating men guilty until proven innocent . Fathers are erradicated from their children's lives just on the word of a woman with no proof and when the father proves his innocent it's often years in and the relationship with children is destroyed. We need good fathers back in children's lives. Statistics show children do better in all corners of life with good fathers in their lives .. too many single mums that struggle when boys become teenagers after they often chose to erradicate a good father to gain the upper hand in settlement etc.
Reeves is not proposing to solve this. Just putting more males in education. Just making men more "womenly" bs in low wage professions.
Finally. Someone who gets it. It's so degrading to have people talk about helping boys and men just because it helps make them "more useful partners for women".
Absolutely gynocentric misandrist garbage when people talk like that - so many of these people are limp wristes posers.
Richard, you rightly and admirably mention fatherhood as a key focus area for improving the lives of men. You would do well to specifically invite women to resist zero-sum thinking about custody and access arrangements post-divorce.
Thank you, Jack. Erin Byrd mentioned on one of her Youtube videos that women tend to be evaluated for their outer beauty, so they have no incentive to improve their inner selves to be better people. Encouraging women to be better people would help with them valuing their ex enough to give him joint custody.